post written by: Angel Chernoff
by Kendra Wright
Truth be told, life isn’t always easy; but if you can find opportunities in your oppositions you’ll spend less time wishing things weren’t so hard and more time being grateful that they are.Some changes appear negative on the surface but when you look back you’ll see that your deepest pain often gifted you with your greatest lessons. The same way coal is only transformed into diamonds because of intense pressure, only through our challenges will we be changed.
Rest assured – happy people are not immune to hard days, heartbreak, or feeling like a fool! The difference is they turn frustrations into fuel and rebuild from the pebbles they discovered after hitting rock bottom.
If you’re having a hard time seeing the beauty in the ugly things life has handed you lately, here’s some truths happy people are already facing that could help you too:
- If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs. Most people want the reward without the risk. The shine without the grind. You are praised in public for what you practice in private. You can’t have the destination without the journey. Instead of thinking about what you want, first consider: What are you willing to give up to get it?
- You are going to be inspired by your dreams and also terrified by them.
Don’t run from the things that scare you, chase them. Do work that
keeps you up late and wakes you up early. Don’t be persuaded by the
“stability” in practicality – you can fail at something you don’t love
too, so why not take a chance on what you do love. There’s no promise
that passion will pay your bills, but you’ll never hit a home run if
don’t step up to the plate. (Read Quitter
.)
- A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there. Easy things will never make you proud. The same walls you build to protect yourself will also imprison you if you build them too high. The biggest dream killer isn’t a lack of opportunity or talent, it’s the addiction we have to our comfort zone. Fools believe they can conquer fear. But those who go far in life understand that uncertainty will never quite go away when they are doing great things. They are prepared to walk beside it everyday for as long as it takes to get to where they want to go. Don’t let fear be a stop sign. Instead, use it as a roadmap to a life well lived.
- If you want to see what’s holding you back, look in the mirror. It’s you… and only YOU 99% of the time. The toughest battles you’ll ever fight will begin between your own two ears. Before you get the rest of the world onboard, you’ll have to convince the biggest critic of all – YOU! There are a lot of things that are going to get in your way in life, don’t let yourself be one of them.
- Being “realistic” is the fastest traveled path to mediocrity. Small people will doubt big dreams. It’s easy for people on the sidelines to doubt and judge when they aren’t taking any risks themselves. So don’t dim your light just because it will hurt someone else’s eyes. Don’t let a drop of your self worth rely on their acceptance of you. Decide you’ll do it with or without them. They may call you crazy when you’re just getting started but they’ll label you a genius once you’ve succeeded.
- You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them. Life is a “practice,” not a “perfection”… and it’s only coming around once. This is IT! So live fully while you’re here. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and make mistakes. They are a necessary part of a life well lived. When something goes wrong (and it will), don’t run or try to hide. See it as an opportunity to learn something you didn’t know about yourself. The goal is not perfection; just be an excellent example of being human.
- People will love you, and people will dislike you.
And most of the time, it will have nothing to do with you. How others
treat you is their karma, how you respond is yours. Love them anyway.
Be kind because it’s who you are, not because they have to earn it. The
hardest people to love are often the ones who need it the most anyway.
(Read How to Win Friends and Influence People
.)
- You don’t have to live your life the way other people expect you to. You were not meant for a mundane or mediocre life. Take chances when you’re young; tell stories when you’re old. The goal is to not look back and say, “Wow, I felt safe.” The goal is to say, “Wow, that was an adventure.” If your life is awesome, it’s your fault. If your life is boring, it’s your fault. If you wouldn’t read the story you’re living right now, write a different one.
- People who are out making a difference in the world are not like everyone else. So don’t blend in. You will always be too much of something for someone – too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy, and so forth. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge. Once you’ve truly accepted who you are – quirks, flaws, and all – no one can use them against you. For those who truly care about you, there are no flaws in you larger than their love.
- Every wrong relationship leads to the right one.
If you can love the wrong person so much, imagine how much you’ll love
the right one. Every heartbreak presents an opportunity to grow into an
improved version of yourself. Great love shakes us up, excites and
terrifies us simultaneously, while making us feel so desperate and out
of control that we have no choice but to transform our lives. When it
leaves us, we can choose to become bitter or to become better. Will you
become stronger and wiser with an increased ability to love? Or will
you miss the gift? One day someone will come into your life and make
you see why it didn’t work out with anyone else. Until then, use every
chance you get to grow into the kind of person they couldn’t imagine
living without. (Read It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken
.)
Afterthoughts
It’s OK to feel confused, frustrated and even lost – happy people experience all these emotions too. It’s a sign of intelligence. Only fools are totally sure about their path and every choice they make.Find a way to be happy regardless of what life hands you. You may not be able to control it, but you can learn and grow from it.
As you breathe right now, another person is taking their last breath. They are praying for all the things you and I are taking for granted. So don’t complain. Be grateful for every experience, every challenge, and every surprise that you’re blessed with.
If you haven’t found the lesson in your latest struggle yet, keep looking, it’s there. And if all else fails, stay grateful that you’ve been given more time to figure it out. Not everyone has been so lucky.
Your turn…
Which one of the truths in this post resonate with you the most? What’s one tough truth you’ve had to face, or hardship you’ve had to deal with, that taught you a great lesson and helped you grow?Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Jo Munday
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