Wednesday 22 October 2014

18 Great Reminders When You’re Having a Bad Day

post written by: Marc Chernoff

18 Great Reminders When You’re Having a Bad Day
Sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you’ve ever been to stand up taller than you ever were before.  Sometimes your eyes need to be washed by your tears so you can see the possibilities in front of you with a clear vision again.
Last night I had a long conversation with my wise, 71-year-old dad about living and growing through adversity.  One of the last things he said before we got off the phone resonated with me so much, I wrote it down:
“It’s been my experience that most people aren’t truly happy until they’ve had many reasons to be sad.  I believe this is because it takes all of those bad days and hardships to teach us how to truly appreciate what we have.  It builds our resilience.”
Honestly, I don’t think it gets any closer to the truth than that.
Not every day is good, but there is something good about every day.  It takes a strong person to see the positive on down days.  The key, I have learned, lies in letting go.  It’s about realizing that, except for your own thoughts, there’s nothing that’s absolutely in your power.  Knowing and accepting this gives you the ability to cope effectively with life’s constant stream of little tragedies – an aptitude we call resilience.
Ultimately, you can fight life, you can do nothing but complain about what you’re missing, or you can accept everything you have and put it together to create something worth smiling about.
So with this in mind, here are some good things to keep in mind when you’re having a bad day:
  1. The right attitude is the one thing you need right now. – What you focus on changes everything.  Don’t look back when you know you shouldn’t.  Don’t worry about what you can’t control.  Don’t stress over unimportant things.  Be positive.  Seriously, the most underrated trait of all successful people I’ve ever met is positivity.  Your attitude directly determines how well you live your life.  You simply can’t live a positive life with a negative attitude.  Don’t let mental blocks control you.  Set yourself free. Confront your negativity and turn the mental blocks into building blocks.
  2. You can’t be truly happy unless you’re unhappy sometimes too. – If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.  Feelings, good and bad, always come and go.  The trick is to be grateful when your mood is high and graceful when it is low.
  3. You still have many blessings that you can make count. – Yes, always count your blessings, but don’t forget to make your blessings count too.  There’s no good reason why you must settle for anything less than the very best life has to offer.  Start now by sincerely appreciating the things you have and making the most of them.  Happiness and success in life are not the byproducts of limitless resources.  Happiness and success stem from stretching the limits of the available resources.
  4. You can learn something important from any situation, if you want to. – Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.  Take everything as a lesson learned.  You are the books you read, the films you watch, the people you meet, the dreams you have, and the conversations you engage in.  You are a combination of what you take from these.  You are the sound of thunder, the breath of fresh air, the brightest light and the darkest corner.  You embody every experience you have had in your life.  You are every single day, even the bad ones.  So drown yourself in a sea of knowledge.  Let the experiences run through your veins, and let the lessons grow your mind.
  5. Your best bet is to take a chance on the present moment. – Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending.  Be thankful to start from where you are now.  Wishing for a different past will only waste your energy.  If you’re feeling down right now, each second that passes is another moment to turn it all around.  (Read The Untethered Soul.)
  6. You are not a victim. – You have an interesting life and it is magnificent, even during the toughest times.  Keep this in mind, and live it accordingly.  You are in control.  Change your thoughts.  As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there” somewhere else – as long as you think that someone or something else is responsible for your suffering – your situation is hopeless.  It means that you are forever in the victim role, that you’re suffering even in paradise.  Don’t do this to yourself.  Be your hero, not your victim.
  7. You are not who you once were, but who you believe you can become. – You ultimately become what you believe yourself to be.  If you keep on saying to yourself that you are incapable of doing a certain thing, it’s likely that you will end up becoming incapable of doing it.  On the contrary, if you have the belief that you can do it, despite your struggles and frustrations, you will likely acquire the capacity to do it, even if you can’t do it right now.
  8. You CAN move forward from here. – Even the darkest night will eventually end and the sun will rise.  Remember this.  If you take another step, and another, you’ll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point you thought was the end.  So say this to yourself, and mean it with all your heart: “I just need you to never give up on me, no matter how hard things get.”
  9. The best way to move forward is one tiny step at a time. – You can’t lift 1,000 pounds all at once.  But you can easily lift one pound 1,000 times.  In repetition, your little actions have great power.
  10. What others think about your situation is not important right now. – If you really want to be happy again, then stop being afraid of being yourself, and stop thinking about what others think of you every second.
  11. In relationships, agreeing to disagree is sometimes the best solution. – Be selective in your battles.  Sometimes peace is better than being right.  You simply don’t need to attend every argument you are invited to.
  12. It’s OK to give yourself some space to breathe and regroup. – Sometimes a short break is the best step.  Sometimes you need to pause so you can move forward – you need to turn away from something for a while so you can see why you fell in love in the first place.
  13. There’s so much you can let go of in life, without losing a thing. – It’s called growth.  Letting go of the old, makes way for the new.   Letting go of what isn’t working, makes way for what will.  So remember, when the pain of holding on is worse than the pain of letting go, it’s time to let go and grow.
  14. There’s no shame in starting over again, and changing things up. – When things aren’t adding up in your life, it’s time to start subtracting… the habits, routines, and circumstances that are holding you back.  Sometimes you’ve got to create what you want to be a part of from the ground up – you’ve got to work harder than ever before to get more than you ever dreamed of.  Be a dreamer.  Be a doer.  Know what is truly important to you and why.  Then act on it with all your might.
  15. The struggle isn’t found on the path, it is the path… to greatness. – There will be big mistakes and heartbreaking surprises along the way.  Learn from them, adapt and grow.  If you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs.  If you want a fit body, you also have to want the sweat, the sore muscles, the early mornings at the gym, and the low-fat meals.  If you want a successful business, you have to also want the long days, the late nights, the risky business decisions and deals, and the possibility of failing fifty times to learn what you need to know to succeed.
  16. A little extra effort always pays off in the end. – Even when things aren’t going your way, don’t slack off.  Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do.  It doesn’t matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you.  You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark quality, if you are cutting corners and ducking responsibilities.  You are special.  Act like it.  Never neglect the little things.
  17. Be a little kinder to yourself than you have to. – Yes, be extra kind to yourself today.  Accept who you are, and revel in it.  Treat yourself with love and respect.  The better you feel about YOU, the more value you can create for your world.  If you can’t do a lot for yourself right now, do a little.  These small moments of joy will add up.  They will keep you pointed in a positive direction.  (Read The How of Happiness.)
  18. Because of today’s pain, you can feel the tenderness, beauty and freedom of healing. – Pain feels like a fast stab wound directly to the heart sometimes.  But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air.  As humans, we may not have wings like a bird, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that soothing sensation of wind against our faces.

Afterthoughts

At some point, you will come to realize that living the good life involves some amount of necessary pain, and that there are more flavors of pain than ice cream and coffee combined…
There’s the little empty pain of leaving something behind ‒ graduating, taking the next step, walking out of a familiar, safe situation and into the excitement of the unknown.  There’s the giant, whirling pain of life upsetting all of your big plans and expectations.  There’s the little sharp pains of making a mistake, and the more obscure aches of success, when it doesn’t make you feel as good as you thought it would.  There are the vicious, backstabbing pains of betrayal.  The sweet little pains of finding others who are worthy of your time, giving them your love, and taking joy in their life as they grow and learn.  There’s the steady pain of empathy that you shrug off so you can stand beside a wounded friend or lover and help them face their problems.
And on the best of days, there are the subtle, tingling pains you feel throughout your body when you realize that you’re standing in a moment of sweet perfection, an instant of great achievement, or happiness, or laughter, which at the same time cannot possibly last ‒ and yet will remain with you for the rest of your life.
Everyone is down on pain, and when we experience it we usually say we’re having a bad day, because we forget something important about what we’re going through: Pain is for the living – for those of us who still have the chance of a lifetime.  Only the dead don’t feel it, because their time is already up.

The floor is yours…

What else would you add to the list?  What’s something positive you try to keep in mind when you’re struggling or having a bad day?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.
Photo by: RK Photos

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Wednesday 15 October 2014

27 Stressful Things You Tolerate Too Often

post written by: Marc Chernoff

27 Stressful Things You Tolerate Too Often
Life is to be enjoyed and appreciated, not endured and tolerated.
In life, unnecessary tolerations can bleed you of energy and make it impossible for you to function effectively.  You can’t live a happy, successful, fulfilling life when you’re spending all your energy tolerating things that shouldn’t be tolerated.  Sometimes you need to put your foot down.
In our line of work, Angel and I hear from hundreds of coaching clients, book readers and blog subscribers ) every month who have been tolerating the wrong things for far too long.  If you feel like you have been too, here are some things to stop tolerating in your life:
  1. A negative attitude – Choose to be unhappy and you will find a million reasons to complain and frown.  Choose to be happy and you will find a million reasons to smile.
  2. Drama circles – Don’t get caught up in judging and gossiping.  Don’t give in to the negativity and drama around you.  Be positive.  Give people a piece of your heart rather than a piece of your mind.  Life is too short to be spent talking about people and stirring up trouble that has no substance.  Instead, get caught up in being thankful and being way nicer than necessary.
  3. That nagging thought that you could have been kinder – The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.  How you make others feel about themselves, says a whole lot about you.  So treat people right.  Kindness IS a gift you can afford to give.  Be the sweetness in someone’s bitterness and the light in someone’s darkness.  Always be kinder than you feel.
  4. Self-deprecating thoughts – If you feel like others aren’t treating you with love and respect, check your price tag.  Perhaps you subconsciously marked yourself down.  Because it’s YOU who tells others what you’re worth by showing them what you are willing to accept for your time and attention.  So get off the clearance rack.  If you don’t value and respect yourself, wholeheartedly, no one else will either.
  5. A present preoccupied with a painful past – The first step to living the life you want is leaving behind the life you don’t want.  Letting go of the past is your first step towards happiness.  You are here for a special reason.  Stop being a prisoner of your past.  Become the architect of your present.  Learn from your regrets, but do not punish yourself with them.  Live beyond your scars and focus on the profound possibilities that await your immediate attention.
  6. Being too busy and scattered-brained to appreciate life’s sweetness – It’s so hard to forget pain, but sometimes it’s even harder to remember the sweetness of life.  We have no scar to show for happiness.  And times of blissful peace are rarely impactful, unless we are mindfully present.  Surround yourself with beautiful things, by noticing them.  Life has a lot of grey and sadness – you really have to look for that rainbow and frame it.  There is beauty in everything; sometimes you just have to look a little harder to see it.  
  7. Expectations of perfection – Life will never be perfect, no matter how hard you try.  Even if you pour your heart and soul into it, you will never achieve a state of absolute perfection.  There will always be moments of uncertainty; there will always be days where nothing goes right.  But as time rolls on you will learn that even the most imperfect situations can be made better with a little love and laughter.
  8. A lack of personal responsibility – In every situation you have ever been in, positive or negative, the one common thread is you.  Responsibility means recognizing that regardless of what has happened up to this point in your life, you are capable of making choices to change your situation, or to change the way you think about it.
  9. An obsession with control – When you’re younger, you exhaust yourself trying to take charge of everything in your life, other people, and all situations.  Then one day it dawns on you that you will never gain control until you lose the need to have it – until you can simply let it be OK, to not be perfectly OK.  When you’re wearing yourself ragged trying to juggle the outcome of everything happening around you, it’s time to stop, take a breath, and remind yourself that the only things you can truly control, are what choices you will make, and how much control you will give to the fear that you’re feeling.
  10. Feeling guilty for not being able to do it all – How freeing would it be to not feel guilty about the things you “should” be doing every single second?  Yes, it’s healthy to work diligently on meaningful goals, but don’t berate yourself for not doing more than you’re able to.  Find your balance between activity and recovery.  Learn to let go and relax when you need a break.
  11. The idea that happiness can only be found in the future – If you’re smiling right now, you’re doing it right.  The future is being born every second in your thoughts and actions.  Choose to make it the best it can possibly be.  Stop waiting for “if only” and start living “no matter what.”
  12. Not appreciating what you have while you have it – Sometimes we end up cheating on others and ourselves simply because we pay more attention to what we’re missing, rather than what we have.  When you get something small, you want more.  When you get more, you desire even more.  But when you lose everything, you realize the small things were really the big things.  So don’t go looking for something better every second.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, think about what you have that so many others are missing.
  13. A worry list that’s longer than your gratitude list – What worries you, masters you.  Stress thrives when your worry list is longer than your gratitude list.  Happiness thrives when your gratitude list is longer than your worry list.  So find something to be thankful for.  And remember, pretending to be happy when you’re struggling is just a small example of how strong you are as a person.
  14. Inner resistance to what is – In this moment, surrender to what is, and love it.  Know that what is meant to be is already happening – even if it feels difficult or awkward.  Experience a miracle simply by shifting your perspective.  And know that like all things, this too shall pass.  (Read Loving What Is.)
  15. Letting the situations that didn’t work out define you – Sometimes transitions in life are the perfect opportunity to let go of one situation to embrace something better coming your way.  Please don’t ever let life’s uncontrollable circumstances define you or give you an excuse to be nasty.  Life is designed to test your commitment to who you say you are.  Stand strong.  Define yourself.  Keep going.  Keep growing.
  16. Social conditioning – Knowing who you are is one thing, but truly believing and living as yourself is another.  With all the social conditioning in our society we sometimes forget to stay true to ourselves.  Don’t lose yourself out there.  You can’t attract the right people into your life when you’re pretending to be someone else.  So be yourself, and if you can’t find a group whose values and consciousness matches your own, be the source of one.  Others with like values and consciousness will be drawn to you.
  17. Focusing too much on the wrong people – Wrong things happen when you trust and worry about the wrong people.  Embrace this fact.  Don’t let the people who do so little for you, control so much of your feelings and emotions.  Don’t make too much time for people who rarely make time for you, or who only make time for you when it’s convenient for them.  Know your worth.  Know the difference between what you’re getting from people and what you deserve, and stand your ground.  It’s better to let them walk away from you, rather than all over you.
  18. Dishonesty – In life and business, our reputation is always more important than our next paycheck, and our integrity is worth more than our next thrill.  A cheater’s punishment is to live a life of mistrust and uncertainty.  They live in constant fear that the people they cheated on will also cheat on them.
  19. Insincere apologies – You can’t just say it; you have to show it – you actually have to make a change.  Don’t make insincere apologies, and don’t put up with those who do.
  20. Excessive anger – The one that angers you, controls you.  Know this.  We sometimes think that hating is a weapon that attacks people we don’t like, but hatred is a curved blade, and the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
  21. Arguments with antagonistic people – When we slum it around low vibrational, negative people, we’re pulled down.  Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence.  Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.  Learning to ignore certain people is one of the great paths to inner peace.
  22. Grudges and resentments – Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.  Free yourself of the burden of being an eternal victim, and move forward with or without them.
  23. Old, inefficient habits – Just because you’ve always done it, doesn’t mean you have to continue.  Just because you’ve never done it, doesn’t mean you can’t start now.
  24. Empty complaints – Being annoyed never helps.  Letting it go does.  Doing something about it does.  But just sitting around today complaining about yesterday, won’t make tomorrow any brighter.  (Read The How of Happiness.)
  25. Lingering excuses – It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one over and over again.  So forget what you can’t do.  Focus on what you will do.  Make the commitment to move forward no matter what, and honor this commitment every day.
  26. A stagnant routine – Remember, the most important currency in life is experience.  Money comes and goes, but your experiences stay with you until your very last breath.  So don’t be afraid to mix things up and challenge yourself with new life experiences.  Sometimes a break from your routine is the very thing you need.
  27. Too much needless excess – When things aren’t adding up in your life, start subtracting.  Life gets easier when you delete the things and people that make it difficult.  Get rid of some of life’s complexities so you can spend more time with people you love and do more of the things you love.  This means getting rid of the mental and physical clutter, and eliminating all but the essential, so you are left with only that which gives you value.
And remember, life is change, but growth is optional.  So choose wisely, starting now.  Stop tolerating what shouldn’t be tolerated.  Let today be the first day of the rest of your new life.

Your turn…

What do you tolerate too often?  Which of the points in this article do you sometimes struggle with?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Sara V.

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Friday 10 October 2014

7 Crazy Mistakes We Make in the Pursuit of Happiness

post written by: Angel Chernoff
7 Crazy Mistakes We Make in the Pursuit of Happiness
by Chantalle Gerber
“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.  You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”
―Albert Camus
Let’s face it.  Every time you turn around, you find new advice on being happy.  Books promising to reveal the true secret of happiness.  Blog posts telling you, “Write down three things that make you happy today.”  Friends saying, “Move on!” and, “Cheer up!” after you’ve had a bad day.
And maybe you’re wondering… what’s wrong with that?
Happiness is a good thing right?  Well, yes.  Of course it is.
But we are being taught that our lives should be a straight and narrow path toward happiness.
We are taught that we should strive for happiness, and happiness alone in everything we do.
And that if we’re not always feeling happy, then something is terribly wrong.
The truth is, happiness should not be our only focus, and continuously striving for it, to the detriment of everything else, can actually cause us to make lots of mistakes.  Here are seven such mistakes, and how to fix them:

1.  We view setbacks and growing pains as failures.

When we actively pursue happiness, anything that makes us feel unhappy can seem like a failure – such as a simple setback or challenging moment – when in reality these things are unavoidable, normal parts of personal growth.  Sometimes it’s just easier to feel depressed and trapped by these experiences and let them get the best of us.
Think about a time in your life when you faced a challenge.  Maybe you lost your job, were betrayed by a friend, or got rejected by a loved one.  How did you respond to this?  Did you feel like a victim, or did you embrace it as an opportunity to grow as a person and learn something valuable?
If you’re like most people (including myself), you probably struggled to have a positive attitude at the time, and the situation was probably incredibly hard to deal with.
And the truth is, challenges are never easy.
However, setbacks and challenging moments in life are also opportunities in disguise for something bigger and better.  If we can learn to appreciate and embrace them equally to the moments that make us feel happy, we can more easily see the light in our darkest moments, push through these difficult times and make the most of every opportunity to heal and grow.

2.  We get addicted to short-term, quick fixes of pleasure.

In our impatience to find happiness, we often seek pleasure instead because it’s easier to achieve in the short-term.
This can cause us to rely on pleasurable experiences in an unhealthy way.  For example, we might actually find ourselves feeling anxious if we don’t have anything to look forward to, such as an exciting vacation in the near future.
But relying on pleasurable experiences as a means to happiness will only leave us always wanting more – much like a drug where we become an addict to our next fix. Because pleasure is short lived and offers no sense of deep fulfillment.
“The pleasure-centered person, too soon bored with each succeeding level of “fun”, constantly cries for more and more.  So the next new pleasure has to be bigger and better, more exciting, with a bigger “high.”
―Steven Covey
Long-lasting happiness is not found in quick doses of pleasure, but rather through meaningful experiences over time, such as nurturing a passion, overcoming hardships, learning new life skills, and making a difference by enriching the lives of others.  (Read The How of Happiness.)

3.  We neglect the amazing people around us.

Deliberately striving for happiness can also lead us to be self-centered – “I want happiness and I want it now!” – instead of achieving happiness over time through meaningful experiences and service to a greater cause.
In this case, where the focus is only on today’s must-have dose of happiness, we become more of a taker rather than a giver.  We focus all of our attention on ourselves – me, me, me – so our immediate desires are more easily met, instead of considering new ways to make a rewarding, lasting difference in our lives and the lives around us.  We prioritize our pursuit over all the people – family, friends and strangers – who need us.
The truth is, making a difference by giving to others is actually one of the greatest ways that we can find happiness.  There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.  It gives us a greater sense of meaning, purpose and fulfillment and often makes us feel much more content with our lives and who we are as individuals.
“If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap.  If you want happiness for a day – go fishing.  If you want happiness for a month – get married.  If you want happiness for a year – inherit a fortune.  If you want happiness for a lifetime – help others.”
―Chinese proverb

4.  We let our expectations sap the joy out of genuine experiences.

Think about a time when you were looking forward to something.  Maybe it was as simple as a nice walk on the beach with your partner, or perhaps a vacation you had been planning.
When the time finally came, did you find yourself getting completely lost in the experience and having a great time, or were you scatter-brained with expectations of how the experience was “supposed to be,” and thus subconsciously feeling somewhat disappointed?
Too often we become so determined to feel happy in a certain way, that we end up focusing too much on whether an experience is meeting our expectations.
But studies show that people who do certain activities with a specific set of expectations, or who monitor how much they are enjoying themselves every step of the way, end up actually enjoying themselves less than those who simply let go and focus on immersing themselves in the experience.
Rather than striving for happiness through the expectation of how things should be, try to accept whatever experiences come your way.  That way, you’ll be able to appreciate and more easily notice all the positive things around you as opposed to feeling disappointed when things don’t measure up to fantasies.

5.  We give up amazing opportunities that require temporary discomfort.

Think about a time in your life when you went through a tough but rewarding experience.
Perhaps you took on a challenging project.  Do you remember feeling a great sense of anxiety telling you that you would fail, but you didn’t?
And as a result, not only did you achieve something amazing, you also opened up an array of new opportunities for yourself, became a little bit wiser, and gained a greater sense of self-confidence.
Well, it just shows us that if we want to discover new and interesting opportunities in life, it’s not possible to feel happy every moment along the way.  A little discomfort is necessary medicine.  As they say, opportunity is missed by most people simply because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like hard work.  Don’t be one of these people.  (Read The Last Lecture.)

6.  We look for happiness in the wrong places.

A 24/7 obsession with finding happiness can cause us to focus on the wrong things, because we’re often poor judges of what will make us happy.
For example, we might think that buying a new house, being popular and having a certain amount of money will make us happy, so we strive relentlessly for them, but in reality, when we finally get these things, we still feel like something is missing.
It’s the old “I’ll be happy when I’ve got X” syndrome.  Except when you get X, you realize it’s not everything you expected.  It never is.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Perhaps it’s because we are constantly being sent messages from society and popular media telling us that X, Y & Z will make us happy.  We hear, “If you’re slim you’ll be happy,” or, “If you have the latest technology you’ll be happy,” or, “If you’re rich or popular you’ll be happy.”  And because we’re so obsessed with finding happiness, we buy into it.
The truth is, these things don’t lead to a deep sense of happiness, and we’re often poor judges by believing they will.  True happiness comes from within yourself, not from something or someone else.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on something or someone to come along and make you happy.

7.  We tie our happiness to the futile idea of perfection.

Oftentimes, when we strive for happiness, what we are really aiming for is to feel perfect.
But perfection is an illusion.
We are beautifully imperfect beings, operating in a very imperfect world, and that is just the way it’s meant to be.  Striving for perfection is a hollow goal, one that can never be achieved.
Society shows us doctored images of perfection constantly in marketing and popular media.  Do not buy into this illusion; it will only lead you into darkness.  Embrace your quirks, your flaws and the fact that life is a roller coaster at times.  Strive for excellence, have high standards… but never confuse that with the crippling behavior of perfectionism.
Rather than striving to be perfect, embrace and appreciate all the beautiful, natural imperfections of life, and use these things to grow stronger, wiser, and more whole as an individual. 

The secret to a fulfilling life is wholeness, not happiness

Pursuing wholeness comes down to accepting and embracing all aspects of life – sadness, frustration, pain, failure and happiness, as well as realizing that all these things are equally as important for a balanced, fulfilling and truly happy experience.
It’s about understanding that life is not just a bowl of cherries, and that in order to grow and learn, we rely on the harsh realities of life.
In fact, even though it’s hard, we need to be grateful for these things.
Rather than trying to hide from adversities, we need to embrace them…
Because we know that they will make us stronger, more passionate, motivated, versatile, confident, resilient, capable and ultimately more whole as individuals – as well as adding more meaning and deeper fulfillment to our lives.
“Everyone says we grow through pain and as soon as they experience it they say, ‘Quick!  Move on!  Cheer up!’  Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all those things which make us who we are.”
―Hugh Mackay

How to strive for wholeness

In order to get the most out of your pursuit for wholeness, the following are some key things to do in your daily life:
  • Embrace rather than avoid life’s adversities.  Laugh at your mistakes and learn from them.  Joke about your troubles and gather strength from them.  Have fun with the challenges you face and then conquer them.
  • Rather than shutting out or suppressing negative emotions, allow yourself to really feel them, so you can deal with them.  Take full, unhindered control of your emotions, so your emotions do not control you behind your back.
  • Find peace with yourself and your past.  Rather than remaining angry or hurt throughout your life, choose to forgive yourself and others, and try to actually appreciate the experiences for what they have taught you.
  • Proactively identify knowledge gaps in your life experience and take steps to fill them, even if it requires you to stretch your comfort zone.
  • Shift some of your attention away from what you want, and refocus it on what others need.

Will you choose wholeness over happiness?

When you choose to actively seek wholeness, your life will feel much more fulfilling.
You will feel more satisfied and happy with your life, because rather than feeling burdened by life’s challenges, you will be on a constant journey of growth and discovery.  Everything, good or bad, will move you forward.
Instead of feeling like a victim in life, you will be able to appreciate and value everything that comes your way.  After all, you’re not a victim.  You’re a strong human being.  You have an interesting life, and it is magnificent.  Keep this in mind, and live it accordingly.
And while you’re out there doing your thing, you will also learn to love, accept and understand yourself better as you learn to overcome the brokenness inside you.
I challenge you to choose wholeness from today onward.
The next time you feel sad or disappointed, don’t try to shut it out or distract yourself from it.  Instead, accept it as who you are, be okay with it and allow it to add new layers of understanding and awareness to your life.

Your turn…

What else would you add to this list?  What mistakes have you made in the pursuit of happiness?  How have you coped?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.
Photo by: mariagiulia | nozzi

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Wednesday 8 October 2014

11 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Stress

post written by: Angel Chernoff


11 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Stress
“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars.  You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”
―C.S. Lewis
This morning, I received a long email from a reader named Evan who is struggling with letting go of a failed relationship.  In his email he explains, in rather vivid detail, the signs and symptoms of a toxic relationship that has been heading south for many years.  He admits that he needs to let go, but he struggles with it, because doing so means he must finally face reality, which requires him to let go of the idea in his head about how his life and relationship were suppose to be.
One particular line from his email really summed it up well: “I’m learning the hard way that the hardest thing in life is simply letting go of what you thought was real.”
Isn’t that the truth – for all of us, in all walks of life.  We all have an idea in our heads about how things are, or how they’re supposed to be, and sadly this is what often messes us up and stresses us out the most.  Realize this.  Sometimes life doesn’t give you what you WANT because you NEED something else.  And what you need often comes when you’re not looking for it.  You won’t always understand it and that’s OK.  Just when you think it can’t get any worse, it does.  And then just when you think it can’t get any better, it does.
The key is detachment – letting go of the life you expected, so you can make the best of the life that’s waiting for you.  It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.  Here are some strategies for making this happen:
  1. Create some healthy space for yourself. – Sometimes you are just too close to the puzzle to see the big picture.  You need to take a few steps back to gain clarity on the situation.  The best way to do this is to simply take a short break – a breather – a vacation – and explore something else for a little while.  Why?  So you can return to where you started and see things with a new set of eyes.  And the people there may see you differently too.  Returning where you started is entirely different than never leaving.
  2. Accept the truth and practice being grateful for what is. – To let go is to be grateful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and helped you learn and grow.  It’s the acceptance of everything you have, everything you once had, and the possibilities that lie ahead.  It’s all about finding the strength to embrace life’s challenges and changes, to trust your intuition, to learn as you go, to realize that every experience has value, and to continue taking positive steps forward.  (Read The Untethered Soul.)
  3. Say less and breathe more when you’re angry. – Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.  True story.  When you’re infuriated with someone, take a few deep breaths, sit quietly and think for a moment.  Acknowledge the true source of your anger.  Anger always bleeds from the inside out.  Remember that we need to fix ourselves first before we attempt to fix or influence others.  Trying to change others is a common recipe for prolonging the suffering.  Taking responsibility for changing yourself, and how you deal with the actions of others, is a recipe for growth, freedom and happiness.
  4. Forgive with all your heart, as often as necessary. – Forgiveness is a constant attitude of choosing happiness over hurt – acceptance over resistance.  It’s about acknowledging that we’re all mistaken sometimes; sometimes even the best of us do foolish things – things that have severe consequences.  But it doesn’t mean we are evil and unforgiveable, or that we can’t be trusted ever again.  Know this.  Sit with it.  It might take time to forgive, because it takes strength to forgive.  Because when you forgive, you love with all your might.  And when you love like this, a heavenly, healing light shines upon you.  This forgiveness – true forgiveness – brings you to a place where you can sincerely say, “Thank you for that experience,” and mean it with all your heart.
  5. Concentrate only on what can be changed. – Realize that not everything in life is meant to be modified or perfectly understood.  Live, let go, learn what you can and don’t waste energy worrying about the things you can’t change.  Focus exclusively on what you can change.  And if you can’t change something that’s upsetting you, change the way you think about it.  Review your options and then re-frame what you don’t like into a starting point for achieving something different in your life.  (Read Loving What Is.)
  6. Make the NOW your primary focus. – Now is the moment.  The past is just a memory.  The future is a mental projection.  You can choose to dwell back in the past for learning and joyous reflection.  You can choose to dwell in the future for visualization and practical planning.  However, any time your awareness floats away to the past or future frequently for negative purposes, you are suffocating your ability to thrive in the only moment you ever have – the NOW.  Past and future literally do not exist right now; feel the freedom in this truth.
  7. Embrace your quirks, your mistakes, and the fact that life is a lesson. – Life is a ride.  Things change, people change, but you will always be YOU; so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone or anything.  You have to dare to be yourself, in this moment, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.  It’s about realizing that even on your weakest days you get a little bit stronger, if you’re willing to learn.  Which is why, sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your trouble and hard work isn’t what you get, but who you become.
  8. Nurture your self-worth. – Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.  And you are!  You are worth it.  Tattoo that right onto your brain… Seriously!  The world starts to respond when you believe that about yourself.  It doesn’t always look like you thought it would, but positive shifts begin to take place when you start to recognize and acknowledge your own self-worth.  So watch your thoughts and stop any self-deprecating thoughts dead in their tracks.  Remind yourself that once upon a time, in an unguarded, honest moment, you recognized yourself as a worthy friend.
  9. Pay less attention to people’s judgments. – Most people hasten to judge in a desperate attempt to not be judged themselves.  In other words, their judgments are shallow and based on their own insecurities, and thus not worth worrying about.  And honestly, no one has the right to judge you anyway.  People may have heard your stories, and they may think they know you, but they can’t feel what you are going through; they aren’t living YOUR life.  So forget what they think and say about you.  Let it GO.  Focus on how you feel about yourself, and keep walking the path that feels best under your feet.
  10. Do everything with a touch of kindness. – Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is… you guessed it… to be kind.  Whatever can be done, can be done more effectively when you add kindness.  Whatever words are spoken, will always be more compelling when expressed with kindness.  The kind deeds you exert in just one moment can have a positive impact that lasts a lifetime.  Your days will be brighter and your years fuller when you add kindness to your purpose.  Choose to be kind every day, and you’re truly choosing to live in a world with less stress and more happiness.
  11. Savor life’s goodness. – Life is a bowl of fruit; some fruit are rotten while others are good for you.  It’s your duty to sort through it, toss out the rotten ones and forget about them, while you enjoy eating the good ones.  Don’t be confused by others who seem to be doing the exact opposite.  Ultimately you will realize there are two kinds of people in this world: those who choose to disregard the good fruit and wallow in all the rotten ones, and those who, like you, choose to toss out the rotten ones and savor all the good ones.

Afterthoughts

Letting go is not giving up.  Letting go is surrendering any obsessive attachment to particular people, outcomes and situations.  Surrender means showing up every day in your life with the intention to be your best self, and to do the best you know how, without expecting life to go a certain way.  Have goals, have dreams, aspire and take purposeful action and build great relationships, but detach from what life must look like.
The energy of someone aspiring to create something wonderful, teamed with this kind of surrender, is far more powerful and rewarding than someone determined to create outcomes with a desperate ‘must have’ mentality.  Surrender brings inner peace and joy, and lest we forget that our outer lives are a reflection of our inner state of being.

The floor is yours…

What do you need to let go of?  What thoughts, habits and attachments are creating unnecessary stress in your life?  Leave a comment below and let us know what you intend to do about it.
Photo by: Salvatore Iovene

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Friday 3 October 2014

7 Important Life Lessons Everyone Learns the Hard Way

post written by: Marc Chernoff

7 Important Lessons Everyone Learns the Hard Way
“People never learn anything by being told,
they have to find out for themselves.”
―Paulo Coelho
Today marks the five-year anniversary of a close friend’s unexpected passing.  This morning I caught myself reflecting on that dreary morning when I received the news, and how several colleagues and acquaintances whom I barely knew came up to me over the subsequent hours and gave me a pat on the back, a hug, or a genuine “I’m sorry.”
In the midst of my sorrow I now realize this tragic loss taught me three important things.  First, the worst things can happen to the best people for no obvious reason at all.  Second, most people, even the ones you don’t think care, are genuinely good people who do care.  And finally, just as it is difficult to see all the opportunities life gives you until you’re looking back, it is virtually impossible to fully understand certain life circumstances until they actually happen to you.
It’s a variation of this final point that I want to explore further today – seven important life lessons almost everyone learns the hard way, eventually.

1.  The people you lose remain a part of you.

Someday you will be faced with the reality of loss.  And as life goes on, days rolling into nights, it will become clear that you never really stop missing someone special who’s gone, you just learn to live around the gaping hole of their absence.
When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss.  You will never forget them.  However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news.  They will live on in the warmth of your broken heart that doesn’t fully heal back up, and you will continue to grow and experience life, even with your wound.  It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway with a slight limp, and this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character.

2.  The pursuit of happiness is about finding meaning.

Pursuing happiness is not at all the same as being happy, which is a fleeting feeling dependent on momentary circumstances.  If the sun is shining, by all means bask in it.  Happy times are great and often fun-filled, but happy times pass, because time passes.  This is something we rarely grasp at first.
The lifelong pursuit of happiness, on the other hand, is more elusive; it’s not based on a particular outcome.  What you are really pursuing is meaning – living a meaningful life.  It starts with your “why.”  (Why are you doing what you’re doing with your life?)  When your “why” is meaningful, you are pursuing happiness.  There will be times when things go so wrong that you barely feel alive.  And there will also be times when you realize that being barely alive, on your own terms, is better than living a lifeless existence for eighty years on someone else’s terms.  The pursuit isn’t all or nothing; it’s all AND nothing, with ups and downs and worthwhile lessons along the way.
In other words, happiness comes most easily when you know what you’re doing, believe in what you’re doing, and love what you’re doing (and who you’re doing it with), regardless of how things turn out.  (Read The Happiness Hypothesis.)

3.  Seeking validation from others invalidates YOU.

Has the fear of rejection held you back?  Have you ever been so fearful of what others might think or say about you that it kept you from taking positive action?  I bet you’re shaking your head, “yes.”
It’s time to change your mindset…
Today, the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.  Prove yourself to yourself, not others.  You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough.  You don’t need other people to validate you; you are already valuable.
If someone says “no” to you, or if someone says something negative about you, that doesn’t change anything about YOU.  The words and opinions of others have no real bearing on your worth.  Certainly it can be helpful and desirable to make a good impression in certain situations, yet it’s not the end of the world when you are faced with rejection.
It’s great to receive positive feedback, but it simply doesn’t always happen.  That’s OK though, because you know where you’re headed and you know your true worth does not depend on the judgment of others.  When you set out to make a true difference in life, there will be those who disagree with you, those who ignore you, and those who flat out reject your ideas and efforts.  Look beyond them, step confidently forward, do what must be done, and let them think what they will.

4.  Regret hurts far worse than fear.

When we give in to our fears, we have a harder time looking at ourselves in the mirror.  Sadly, very few of us escape learning this lesson firsthand.  If you have already experienced this a time or two, you know what you need to do.
It is only when we risk losing that we truly open the possibility to win.  Whether it is quitting your job to build a business, running a marathon, or traveling to unknown parts of the world, any worthy endeavor requires risk, struggle and sacrifice.  Some of these things may even terrify you, but ask yourself if these fears are stronger than the most powerful of fears, the fear of a wasted life?
If you’ve never lost your mind, you’ve never followed your heart.  It’s better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that,” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.”  Don’t let time pass you by like a hand waving from a train you desperately want to be on.  Don’t spend the rest of your life thinking about why you didn’t do what you can do right now.  Live your life.  Take risks.  Feel passion.  Discover love.  Run free. 

5.  Life is too unpredictable for rigid expectations.

When you stop predicting and expecting things to be a certain way, you can appreciate them for what they are.  Ultimately you will realize that life’s greatest gifts are rarely wrapped the way you expected.
With a positive attitude and an open mind, you will find that life isn’t necessarily any easier or harder than you thought it was going to be; it’s just that “the easy” and “the hard” aren’t exactly the way you had anticipated, and don’t always occur when you expect them to.  This isn’t a bad thing; it makes life interesting.
Ninety-nine percent of the time life delivers the experiences that are most helpful for your personal growth.  How do you know it’s the experience you need?  Because it’s the experience you’re having.  The only question is:  Will you embrace it and grow, or fight it and fade?
The key, of course, is to accept that not everything is meant to be.  When things don’t turn out how you expected, you have to seriously sit down with yourself and come to grips with the fact that you were wrong about it all along.  It was just an illusion that never really was what you thought it was.  It’s one of the most difficult realizations to accept, to realize that you feel a sense of loss, even though you never really had what you thought you had in the first place.

6.  When you try to run away, you end up running in place.

“Don’t think about eating that chocolate donut!”  What are you thinking about now?  Eating that chocolate donut, right?  When you focus on not thinking about something, you end up thinking about it.
The same philosophy holds true when it comes to freeing your mind from a negative past experience.  By persistently trying to move away from what you didn’t like and don’t want, you are forced to think about it so much that you end up carrying it’s weight along with you.  But if you instead choose to focus your energy on moving toward something you do like and do want, you naturally leave the negative weight behind as you progress forward.
Bottom line:  Running away from your problems is a race you’ll never win.  Move TOWARDS something instead of AWAY.  Rather than trying to eliminate the negative, focus on creating something positive that just happens to replace the negative.   (Read The Road Less Traveled.)

7.  Unanticipated hardships are inevitable and helpful.

Nobody in this world is going to blindside you and hit you as hard as life will.  Sometimes life will beat you to the ground and try to keep you there if you let it.  But it’s not about how hard life can hit you, it’s about how hard you can be hit while continuing to move forward.  That’s what true strength is, and that’s what winning the game of life is all about.
When you have a lot to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and take a step forward instead, you are growing stronger.  Work through your struggles and hardships.  Even when it feels like things are falling apart, they’re not.  Take control of your emotions before they take control of you.  Everything will fall into place eventually.  Until then, learn what you can, laugh often, live for the moments, and know that it’s all worthwhile in the end.

Afterthoughts

Gandhi once said, “Live as if you were to die tomorrow.  Learn as if you were to live forever.”  I love this quote.  There’s no doubt that every day is a gift, and the gift is an opportunity to live, to learn, and to grow.
Be a student of life.  Indulge in it and absorb all the knowledge you can, while you can.  You may have to loose some things to gain some things, and you may have to learn some things the hard way.  That’s OK.  All experiences are necessary.  The purpose of your life is to live it in full, to partake in it to the utmost, to reach out with an open mind and an honest heart for the newest and richest experience being offered.

Your turn…

What would you add to this list?  What important life lessons have you learned the hard way?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts with the community.
Photo by: Sam LLic

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Wednesday 1 October 2014

20 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough

post written by: Marc Chernoff

10 Things to Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is simply believing you’re worthy of the trip.
Truth be told, you can’t berate yourself into a better version of yourself.  And even though I know this, I sometimes still fall victim to my own negative thinking.  Sometimes I’m downright rude to myself.  I make a mistake, or fall short of my own expectations, and instead of treating it as a learning opportunity, I beat myself up about it.
I’m sure you can relate.  We’ve all been there.  We all have bad days and moments of self-doubt.
Sometimes the pressure coming from peers, family, work, and society in general is enough to make us feel completely broken inside.  If we don’t have the “right” job, relationship, lifestyle, and so forth, by a certain age or timeframe, we assume we’re just “not good enough.”  Angel and I hear about this kind of self-defeating mindset from our coaching clients and blog subscribers on a daily basis, and like I said, we aren’t immune either.
So what can we do about it?
Here’s how I handle it: Every time I catch myself thinking I’m not good enough, I immediately write down an opposing thought that debunks my negativity.  I’ve been doing this for the past several years and it’s made a tremendous difference in my life.  I challenge you to do the same.
If you need a little extra inspiration, here are some things I’ve come up with – 20 good reminders when you’re feeling “not good enough”:
  1. Nobody is doing better than you because nobody can do better than you. – YOU are walking your own path.  Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel.   Forget what everyone else is doing and achieving.  Your life is about breaking your own limits and outgrowing yourself to live YOUR best life.
  2. Where you are right now is a necessary step. – Sometimes we avoid experiencing exactly where we are because we have developed a belief, based on our ideals, that it is not where we should be or want to be.  But the truth is, where you are right now is exactly where you need to be to get to where you want to go tomorrow.
  3. Everything is coming together… maybe not immediately, but gradually. – When times are tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose.  Move on from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.  Pain is part of growing.  Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you.  When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both kinds help you grow.
  4. It is your resistance to “what is” that causes your suffering. – Remember, happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with “what is,” rather than wishing for and worrying about “what is not.”  “What is” is what’s supposed to be, or it would not be.  The rest is just you, arguing with life.  Think about that for a minute.  This means your suffering only ever occurs when you resist how things are.  You cannot control everything that happens to you; you can only control the way you respond to what happens.  In your response is your power.  (Read The Power of Now.)
  5. Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace. – Choose to be miserable and you’ll find plenty of reasons to be miserable.  Choose to be peaceful and you’ll find plenty of reasons to be at peace.  Think about it.  Are you skilled at making yourself miserable?  With those same skills you can make yourself motivated, effective and fulfilled.  Do so.
  6. You are always good enough to try, and that’s what’s important in the end. – Everything you achieve comes from something you attempt.  Make the attempt.  Trust me, twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did do.  Give yourself a chance.
  7. There’s always something small you can do. – There is absolutely nothing about your present situation that prevents you from moving forward, one tiny step at a time.  Remember, vision without action is just a daydream; vision must be combined with venture.  It is not enough to stare up the steps, you must step up the stairs.  And all you have to do is take one step at a time.  Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.  Tiptoe if you must, but take that step.
  8. Failures are really just lessons that need to be learned. – No day is ever wasted when you live it with purpose and presence.  Value and enjoy the journey, even when there are detours along the way.
  9. Yesterday’s impossibilities may be possible today. – Experience is the hardest kind of teacher; it gives you the test first and the lesson afterward.  But this is really a blessing.  It means you’re growing stronger and more capable with every passing day.  So don’t you dare give up on today because of the way things looked yesterday.  Don’t even think about it.
  10. What “might happen” can only stop you if you let it. – Rather than worrying about what might happen, move forward and use your energy and intelligence to deal with what does actually happen.
  11. The quality of your vision drives the quality of your life. – It’s up to you how you visualize things and what you focus on.  Forget what you don’t like.  Focus on what excites you.  If you see a possibility, explore it.  If you have a dream, live it.  Those who are passionate and excited about what they’re doing have an advantage that is nearly impossible to conquer.  Be one of these people.  (Read Mindset.)
  12. You don’t need to get everyone’s approval first. – Stop listening to what the world says you should want.  Start listening to who you are.  Truth be told, there are only a few people in this world who will stay 100% true to you, and YOU should be one of them.
  13. What you’re capable of achieving is greatly based on how much you want it. – When it means enough to you, then you can do it.  When you are willing and committed and persistent, you will get yourself there, every time.  Success is neither magical nor mysterious.  Success is the natural outcome of consistently applying your focused effort to what you want.  The fatigue might be there sometimes, but you must understand that putting it aside is the single most important factor in succeeding.
  14. Your best bet is to give yourself no other choice. – It’s amazing what you can do when you have no other choice.  In fact, achievement consists mostly of giving yourself no other choice.  You are more than good enough; you just have to own it – you have to own everything you are and everything you’re up against.  If you believe your troubles are too powerful, then you’ll never allow yourself to rise above them.  Stop fretting.  Quit worrying.  Don’t complain.  You know what you must do.  So do it.
  15. You have to work hard on yourself too. – Self-respect, self-love, self-worth… there’s a reason they all start with “self.”  You can’t receive them from anyone else.  Earn the respect of others by having the audacity to respect yourself.  Dare to love yourself as if you were a rainbow with pots of gold at both ends.  It’s your responsibility, above all, to see your own value.  And this responsibility to yourself means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you; it means learning to use your own brains and intuition to make things happen – hence, grappling with hard work.  
  16. You are stronger than whatever is troubling you. – Use each setback, each disappointment as a cue to push on ahead with more determination than ever before.  When something bad happens, you can either let it define you, let it destroy you or let it strengthen you.  The choice is yours.  So pump yourself up!  You are a lot stronger than you think you are.  You may not be where you want to be yet, but look how far you’ve come.  Celebrate the fact that you’re not where you used to be.
  17. For everything you’ve lost, you’ve gained something else. – Appreciate what you have today.  Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.  No regrets, just lessons.  No worries, just acceptance.  No expectations, just gratitude.  Life is too short.  The story of your life has many chapters.  One bad chapter doesn’t mean it’s the end.  So stop re-reading the bad one already, and turn the page.
  18. You have made the best of some tough situations. – Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy with everything.  Sometimes it just means you’re strong and smart enough to accept it and make the best of it.
  19. Your scars are symbols of your strength. – Don’t ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with.  A scar means the hurt is over and the wound is closed.  It means you conquered the pain, learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward.  A scar is the tattoo of a triumph.  So don’t allow your scars to hold you hostage.  Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear.  You can’t make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you see them.  You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength and not pain.
  20. You are still here trying. – If you have no other testimony right now, you have this one: “I’m still here trying.”  Be positive, patient and persistent.  The more you feel like quitting, the more there is to be gained by continuing to do all three.  Because the strongest people aren’t the people who always win, but the people who don’t give up when they lose.

Afterthoughts

The wisest, most loving, and well rounded people you have ever met are likely those who have known misery, known defeat, known the heartbreak of losing something or someone they loved, and have found their way out of the depths of their own despair.  These people have experienced many ups and downs, and have gained an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, understanding and a deep loving wisdom.  People like this aren’t born; they develop slowly over the course of time.
And you’re getting there.

The floor is yours…

So, which of the points in this post do you resonate with the most?  What makes you feel “not good enough?”  How have you coped with this negativity?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.
Photo by: Sander van der Wel

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below: