Thursday 27 February 2014

4 Ways to LIVE Today, and Not Merely Exist

post written by: Angel Chernoff

4 Ways to LIVE Today, and Not Merely Exist
Throughout your life, there will be times when the world gets real quiet and the only thing left is the beat of your own heart.  So you’d better learn the sound of it, otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s telling you.
The wisest and happiest among us are those who are respectful of their time, and who use it productively to grow as they age.  Sadly though, far too many of us age much faster than we grow.  We spend so much of our lives going through the external motions of what society tells us “maturity” is – getting married, buying a house, working our way up the corporate ladder, etc. – that we fail to concentrate on our own inner growth and goals.  We never allocate enough time just for us.
Part of the problem is that we’re always waiting for some condition to resolve itself at some point in the future.  We believe that the right time to take the next step with our own personal development is somehow going to magically happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, and so on.  But one day we wake up and realize we’re no closer than we were long ago.  We find ourselves asking, “How did it get so late, and why haven’t I moved?”  In other words, we’ve aged, but we never grew to our true potential.  We never fulfilled ourselves.
Let this be your wake-up call.  Right now is LIFE.  Indulge in it!  Make it count.  Because it’s happening…

1.  Invest the present in what matters most to you.

You are the customer of a bank called Time.  Every morning it credits you with eighty-six thousand, four hundred seconds.  Every night it writes off, as a loss, whatever remainder you have failed to invest to good purpose.  It carries over no balance.  It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you with the same deposit of eighty-six thousand, four hundred seconds.  Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours.  There is no going back.  There is no drawing against the tomorrow.  You must live in the present on today’s deposits only.  Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success.
You’re making withdrawals right this second.  The only question is: Are you making them count?

2.  Focus on writing your own life story, your way.

Remember that every moment counts.  Every second matters.  Honestly, whatever is given is a gift.
So don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have gone for them that you forget to write your own.  Unfold your own tale and bring it to life.  You have everything you need to become what you are capable of becoming.  Incredible change happens when you decide to take control.  This means consuming less and creating more.  It means refusing to let others do your thinking, talking, and deciding for you.  It means learning to respect and use your own ideas and instincts to write your passage.
If you want your life story to soar to new heights, you’ve got to clear a path, reduce the time-sinks and burdens weighing you down, and pick up the things that give you wings.  Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day.  If you truly care about what you do and you work diligently at it, there’s almost nothing you can’t accomplish. 

3.  Live what you preach.

Remember that thinking and doing are two very different things.  Success never comes to look for you while you wait around thinking about it.
You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.  Knowledge is basically useless without action.  Good things don’t come to those who wait; they come to those who work on meaningful goals.  Ask yourself what’s really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer.
Identify what’s most important to you.  Prune nonessential commitments.  Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.  No wasted time, no fluff, no regrets.
And remember, if you wait until you feel 100% ready to begin, you’ll likely be waiting the rest of your life.
So challenge yourself to be who you know you are capable of being.  Challenge yourself to follow through – to live what you preach, to walk your talk.  Don’t worry about how slowly you feel you’re heading towards your goals, or how many roadblocks you find, or how many detours you’re forced to take.  As long as you keep doing your thing, you’re still cruising far ahead of everyone who’s too scared to even try.

4.  Step boldly into the unknown.

And don’t buy into the myth of the perfect moment either.  Moments aren’t perfect; they’re what you make them.  So many people wait around for the stars to align to do what they’re here to do.  The perfect moment, the perfect opportunity, the perfect state of being, etc.  Wake up!  These states of perfection are myths.  They do not exist.
Your ability to grow to your highest potential is directly related to your willingness to act in the face of imperfection.  You will come to succeed not by finding a perfect moment, but by learning to see and use life’s imperfections perfectly.
So ask yourself this: “When it’s all said and done, will I have said more than I’ve done?”  Let your answer be NO!
May your actions speak louder than your words.  May your life preach louder than your lips.  May your success be your noise in the end.
And if life only teaches you one thing, let it be that taking a passionate leap is always worth it.  Even if you have no idea where you’re going to land yet, be brave enough to step up to the edge of the unknown, and listen to your heart every now and then.  You’re worth it.

The floor is yours…

As you know, Marc and I are committed to making the most of life along with you.  In fact, we try to make every day count by doing two simple things:
  1. We take at least one step that moves closer to one of our goals.
  2. We spend an hour doing something that makes us laugh.
Today, we challenge you to do the same.  So please leave a comment below and let us know what you’re going to do to make your TODAY count.

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Wednesday 26 February 2014

9 Beliefs of Highly Ineffective People

post written by: Angel Chernoff

9 Beliefs of Highly Ineffective People
It is nearly impossible for anyone, even the most ineffective among us, to continue to choose a life of tedious grief after becoming fully enlightened to the fact that ineffectiveness is a choice.  It is the direct outcome of unproductive beliefs and behaviors.
So here’s a quick reminder – nine things to stop believing:

1.  “I don’t know what I want.”

Never let what other people expect from you dictate what you expect from yourself.  Figure out what you want.  Clarity about your true desires is so liberating because you get to stop proving yourself to everyone, including yourself.
When you get real about the true feelings you crave, you end up surprising yourself with an abundance of new opportunities and possibilities.  Read Awaken the Giant Within.

2.  “I can deal with it all later.”

Without a plan you’re going to stay where you are.  It’s time to figure it out.  It’s time to make a move.
You will not be judged by what you say; you will be judged by what you do.  Wake up each morning determined, so you can go to bed satisfied.  Have the courage and discipline today to do what is needed instead of simply what is convenient.

3.  “That’s too much work.”

Life is not always easy.  Wishing for a situation to be easier without taking action usually just makes it more difficult.  The most effective way to handle what must be done is to do it.
The time-tested strategy for making life truly easier is to work through each challenge as it arises, persistently following through to the best of your ability.  Use each challenge as an opportunity to create value and make a difference, and you’ll eventually get to wherever it is you hope to go.

4.  “I don’t have the strength.”

Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them.  You will find that they don’t have half the strength you think they have.
The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.  Even when you give it your best shot and you miss, it’s not a failure.  Instead, it’s just another opportunity to step up to the plate and do it better next time.  You are stronger than you think.  Don’t give up.  Read As a Man Thinketh.

5.  “My relationship with someone else will solve my problems.”

The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself.  If you’re not comfortable enough with yourself or with your own truth when entering a relationship, then you’re not ready for that relationship.  Because you are incapable of loving another unless you love yourself, just as you are incapable of teaching someone else something unless you yourself understand it.

6.  “I will never forgive!”

You have to forgive.
You don’t have to like them, you don’t have to be friends with them, you don’t have to spend time with them ever again, but you have to forgive them, to let go, to let it rest, to let bygones be bygones.  Because if you don’t, you are choosing to tie boulders to your ankles, which are way too heavy for your growing wings to carry.

7.  “New paths and experiences are too risky.”

Have the willingness to feel the fear and do it anyway.  It’s not the future that you need to be afraid of; it’s repeating the past that threatens your growth.  Wouldn’t you rather attempt to do something great and learn a lesson, than attempt to do nothing and learn nothing for the rest of your life?  Read Authentic Happiness.

8.  “Starting over is not for me, no matter the circumstances.”

There comes a point in your life when you realize that nothing will ever be the same, and you realize that from now on, time will be divided in two parts:  before this and after this.
But that’s okay.  There’s no shame in starting over again, for you get a chance to rebuild things bigger and better than they ever were before, or reinvent yourself and do something you’ve always wanted to do.

9.  “My unhappiness now will create happiness in my future.”

Maybe you think you’re entitled to more happiness in the future by forgoing all of it now, but it doesn’t work that way.  Being happy takes as much practice as being unhappy.  It’s by living with a smile that you smile more.  By waiting you wait more.  Every waiting day makes your lifetime as a whole a little less happy.
To be happy is to truly live.  Every day you put off your life makes you less capable of living it to the fullest.
Photo by: Rick Harrison

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Monday 24 February 2014

9 Beliefs You Need to Succeed at Anything

post written by: Marc Chernoff

9 Beliefs You Need to Succeed at Anything
What you believe either weakens you or makes you stronger.
The foundation of success is not a set of achievements or a combination of external factors; it is a mindset.  Success is an attitude that comes from a framework of powerful beliefs and empowering thoughts.  Because what you think and believe about your life largely determines how you feel (your attitude), what actions you take (your behavior), and what you achieve (the end result.)
I’m fortunate enough to know a number of remarkably successful people.  Regardless of their profession or life passions, I’ve noticed they all share nine common beliefs.
And they act on these beliefs every day:

1.  “The problems I face are opportunities.”

The problems and challenges you face are not there to stop you.  Their purpose is to bring your commitment to the surface where it can come wholly and forcefully to life.
The challenges that are the most difficult are often the ones that create the greatest positive difference.  Situations with the most formidable problems are where you unearth your greatest opportunities.
The only question is:  Are you willing to do what it takes?  Read Think and Grow Rich.

2.  “What’s important is creating value.”

Do something you are proud of.  Instead of struggling to get one up on everyone else, raise your awareness to the point where the competition becomes insignificant.  Get in the habit of creating real value, and you won’t feel the need to take anything away from others.
To be truly effective be sincere and helpful.  Find satisfaction and fulfillment in making a difference and pulling all of life forward with you.

3.  “I can’t anticipate everything, and that’s okay.”

There’s a difference between being prepared and being scared.
There’s much you can gain by planning and preparing, by anticipating what is most likely to happen and being ready for it.  Yet there is no reason to be paralyzed by over-thinking and endless worry, because you have what it takes to handle even the most unexpected setbacks.
And no matter how well you plan, not everything can be anticipated anyway, and that’s actually a good thing.  Sometimes when a roadblock forces you in a different direction, you cross paths with the opportunity of a lifetime.

4.  “My fears are often an indication that something is worth doing.”

Do not to be afraid of your fears.  Your fears are not here to scare you; they’re here to let you know that something you’re thinking about and considering is worth doing.
If you always feel afraid, it means that there are lots of things worth doing – lots of worthy options called opportunities.  It’s time to pick one and take a chance.

5.  “Passions and goals must be self-set.”

Just because someone tells you that you can’t do something doesn’t mean you have to let their opinion become your reality.  If you spend too much time reacting and responding to everyone else, you will lose YOUR direction in life.  These other people’s opinions, problems and wants will end up setting the course for your life.
So take a stand right now and say this to yourself out loud:  “It is OK for me to think about and identify what I want for myself.”  If you live by this statement, remarkable things will take place in your life.

6.  “My time is sacred.”

Maybe you can afford to procrastinate.  Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow.  Maybe for you there’s a thousand tomorrows, or ten thousand, or more.  Maybe you have so much time ahead of you that you can afford to spend it frivolously and foolishly without losing sleep.  There’s a whole lifetime worth of minutes you can waste.  Maybe…
But maybe not.  For some of us – perhaps for you or someone you love – there’s only today.  And the truth is, you never really know.  Read Eat That Frog!

7.  “Positive results are the outcome of positive daily actions.”

Your real religion is how you spend the majority of your time – what you do and think about on and daily basis long after the sermon has ended.  Do something that makes you proud.  Start walking the talk.  Make your strategic plan:  DOING THINGS THAT MATTER!
You don’t need a new year to make a change; all you need is today.  Make this the moment you start changing your life.

8.  “Perfection is a fantasy.”

Understanding the difference between healthy striving and striving for perfection is critical to laying down unnecessary weight and picking up your life.  Perfectionism hampers happiness and success.  It’s the path to depression, anxiety, addiction and life paralysis.
And this is true for your relationships as well…
Judge less, love more.  Flaws are features.  You don’t know a single perfect person, they don’t exist.  Who you do know are a bunch of flawed people who are still worth appreciating and loving.  If you try to avoid people for their little idiosyncrasies and shortcomings, this world will be a lonely place for you.  Read Personal Development for Smart People.

9.  “I am 100% responsible for my life.”

It’s easy to blame someone else for your troubles, but it doesn’t resolve anything.  Sure, at first it might seem reasonable to expect your problems to be solved by those who helped create them, but stop and think about it.  Do you want to give the people who created past problems for you any additional control over your future?
To move your life forward you must be willing to take full responsibility for it.  That means moving past what’s easy and accepting that you’re going to have to do things for yourself.  Perhaps life has given you a burden you don’t deserve.  Instead of seeing this as an excuse to give up, see it as an opportunity to take charge and give it all you’ve got.
You are stronger and more capable than you think.
Photo by: Vinoth Chandar

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

15 Powerful Beliefs that Will Free You from Negativity

post written by: Marc Chernoff

15 Powerful Beliefs that Will Free You from Negativity
There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference.  The little difference is attitude.  The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.
―W. Clement Stone
When I was a teenager I was the primary target of an extremely persistent bully at my high school.  One day I came home in tears and wrote this on the whiteboard hanging on my bedroom wall:  “I hate bullies.  They make me feel like a loser.”
The next day, while I was at school, my grandmother erased what I wrote on the whiteboard and replaced it with this:  “ An entire body of water the size of the Pacific Ocean can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship.  Similarly, all the negativity in the world can’t bring you down unless you allow it to get inside your head.”
And from that day forward I felt better.  I made a conscious decision to stop letting the bully get inside my head.  I changed my beliefs about his level of importance in my life.
It isn’t easy to remain positive when negativity surrounds you, but remember that you have full control over what you choose to believe.  You can effectively defend yourself against all kinds of negativity by adopting simple, yet powerful, beliefs that support a positive outlook in the face of seemingly negative circumstances.
Below you will find 15 such beliefs that have helped free me from the grips of negativity.  I have these beliefs written down in my journal, and I review them on a regular basis, as needed, just to keep them fresh in my mind.  I hope you will join me by adopting them into your own belief system as well…
  1. What other people say about me is their problem, not mine. – Don’t take other people’s negativity personally.  Most negative people behave negatively not just to you, but to everyone they interact with.  What they say and do is a projection of their own reality.  Even when a situation seems personal – even if someone insults you directly – it oftentimes has nothing to do with you.  What others say and do, and the opinions they have, are based entirely on their own self-reflection.
  2. I am free to be ME. – Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?  Happiness is found when you stop comparing yourself to everyone else and what they want.  Stop living for other people and their opinions.  Be true to yourself.  You are the only person in charge of your life.  The only question is: What do you want to do with the rest of it?
  3. Life isn’t perfect, but it sure is great. – Our goal shouldn’t be to create a perfect life, but to live an imperfect life in radical amazement.  To get up every morning and take and good look around in a way that takes nothing for granted.  Everything is extraordinary.  Every day is a gift.  Never treat life casually.  To be spiritual in any way is to be amazed in every way.  (Read The Happiness Project.)
  4. It’s okay to have down days. – Expecting life to be wonderful all the time is wanting to swim in an ocean in which waves only rise up and never come crashing down.  However, when you recognize that the rising and crashing waves are part of the exact same ocean, you are able to let go and be at peace with the reality of these ups and downs.  It becomes clear that life’s ups require life’s downs.
  5. Even when I’m struggling, I have so much to be grateful for. – What if you awoke today with only the things you were thankful for yesterday?  We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but of appreciating everything we do have.  Stress thrives when your worry list is longer than your gratitude list.  Happiness thrives when your gratitude list is longer than your worry list.  So find something to be thankful for right now.
  6. Every experience is just another important lesson. – Disappointments and failure are two of the surest stepping-stones to success.  So don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart.  When things go wrong, learn what you can and then push the tragedies and mistakes aside.  Remember, life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.  We must fail in order to know, and hurt in order to grow.  Good things often fall apart so better things can fall together in their place.
  7. Not everything is meant to stay. – Change can be terrifying, yet all positive growth and healing requires change.  Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye.  Because the past is a place of reference, not a place of residence.  Be strong when everything seems to be going wrong, keep taking small steps, and eventually you will find what you’re looking for.  Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it.
  8. Being wrong is the first step to being right. – Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.  To be creative and productive in life, you must first lose your fear of being wrong.  And remember, a fear like this can only survive inside you if you let it live there.
  9. I do not need to hold on to what’s holding me back. – You are not what has happened to you; you are what you choose to become.  It’s time to break the beliefs and routines that have been holding you back.  Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer grows you.  Listen to your intuition, not your ego.  When you stop chasing the wrong beliefs, you give the right ideas a chance to catch you. 
  10. My happiness today is simply the result of my thinking. – Happiness starts with you – not with your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but WITH YOU.  It is not always easy to find happiness in ourselves, but it is always impossible to find it elsewhere.  Regardless of the situation you face, your attitude is your choice.  Remember, you can’t have a positive life with a negative attitude.  When negativity controls your thoughts, it limits your behavior, actions, and opportunities.  If you realized how powerful your thoughts were, you would try your best to never think another negative thought again.
  11. Who I spend quality time with matters. – Surround yourself with people who lift you higher – those who see the great potential in you, even when you don’t see it in yourself.
  12. Drama and judgments are a waste of perfect happiness. – Make a promise to yourself.  Promise to stop the drama before it begins, to breathe deeply and peacefully, and to love others and yourself without conditions.  Promise to laugh at your own mistakes, and to realize that no one is perfect; we are all human.  Feelings of self-worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible.  (Read The Mastery of Love.)
  13. Most people are judging me far less than it seems. – The truth is, while you’re busy worrying about what others think of you, they’re busy worrying about what you think of them.  Crazy?  Yes, but true.  The good news is this knowledge instantly frees you to let loose and do more of what YOU want.  And while doing so, you’ll also liberate others to do the same.
  14. I can make the world a happier place. – Do your best to help one person every day in some small way.  By becoming the answer to someone’s prayer, we often find the answers to our own.  When the people around us are happier, it’s a lot easier to smile.
  15. The work is worth it. – Lose the expectation that everything in life should be easy.  It rarely is.  In fact, there are no shortcuts to any place worth going.  Enjoy the challenge of your achievements.  See the value in your efforts and be patient with yourself.  And realize that patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your dreams.  It’s knowing deep down that the work is well worth it in the end.

Your turn…

What is the biggest source of negativity in your life?  What helps you stay motivated in the face of this negativity?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Elijah Nouvelage

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Thursday 20 February 2014

10 Reminders Worth Reviewing Daily

post written by: Marc Chernoff

10 Reminders You Should Read Daily
Here are ten daily reminders to keep your mind centered and your spirits lifted.
  1. Treat yourself the way you want others to treat you.  Stop discrediting yourself for everything you aren’t, and start giving yourself credit for everything that you are.  We have to learn to be our own best friends, because sometimes we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies.  Insecurity is what’s ugly, not you.  Accept yourself!  Be you, just the way you are, in the beautiful way only you know how.
  2. The biggest obstacles in your life are the barriers your mind creates.  Worrying will never change the outcome.  When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.  And do not let where you start, define where you will end up; only your actions and willpower determine that.  Read Awaken the Giant Within.
  3. Sometimes to get where you want to go, you have to do what you are afraid to do.  You must be brave and push forward.  Miracles occur when you give as much attention and energy to your dreams as you do to your fears.
  4. You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible.  Believe in YOU.  If you’re passionate about something, pursue it, regardless of what others say.  That’s how dreams come true.  And once you’ve dreamed of it, you’re honestly halfway there anyway.  So go ahead and follow through.  Let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions speak louder than your words.  Read The Magic of Thinking Big.
  5. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, you just have to take the first step.  Taking this first step is always the hardest.  But then each subsequent step gets easier and easier.  And with each step you get closer and closer to what you seek.  Until eventually, what had once been invisible, starts to become visible, and what had once felt unattainable, becomes a reality.
  6. No matter how many times you revisit the past, there’s nothing new to see.  Focus on the next step.  Just because you’ve made mistakes doesn’t mean your mistakes get to make you.  Tame your inner critic, forgive yourself and move on. Let your old problems stay where they belong – in the past.  You must make a conscious effort to do this, it won’t happen automatically.  You will have to rise up and say, “I don’t care how hard this is.  I don’t care how disappointed I am.  I’m not going to let this get the best of me.  I’m taking this as a lesson and moving on with my life.”
  7. No matter how difficult things were yesterday, you are armed with the ability and choice to do better today.  A complete turnaround may not happen instantly, but don’t let that deter you from knowing that it will someday.  The struggle you’re in today is developing the strength you need for tomorrow.  Learn from it and don’t give up.
  8. Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.  Believe with all your heart that you will follow your passion and do what you were made to do.  There is no happiness and success to be found by playing it safe and settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
  9. You can only be yourself, and other people can only be themselves.  Sometimes we try to be sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image of what we want them to be – what we think we need, love or desire.  But these actions and perceptions are against reality, against their benefit and ours, and always end in disappointment – because it does not fit them.  Remember you have the ability to show people how awesome they are, just the way they are.  So act on this ability without hesitation; and don’t forget to show yourself the same courtesy.
  10. Sometimes it’s okay if the only thing you’re doing is breathing.  Life can get so crazy and complicated, but always take the time to slow down, reflect, and appreciate what you have.  There is always someone out there who wishes that had what you have right now.
Photo by: Toni Blay

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

15 Quick Fixes for Increased Computing Productivity

post written by: Marc Chernoff

Computing ProductivityA combination of old and new, each of these quick fixes have one thing in common:  They will increase your computing productivity.  I personally use all of them on a regular basis.  There is nothing groundbreaking about this list, it’s just a short reminder of how simple it is to increase your productivity by enhancing the tools you already use.
  1. Dedicated Network Storage Drive – This could be as complex as a server based shared drive or as simple as a cheap Network Area Storage device.  Having access to all your important files in one centralized location on the network increases your general productivity by allowing for a more flexible computing environment.
  2. Social Bookmarking – Being able to access your web based bookmarks from any computer connected to the internet sets you free.  No longer will one computer hold the key to your online navigation.
  3. Dual Monitor Setup – A dual monitor setup is said to increase computer user productivity somewhere in the range of 20% to 30%.  How many times a day to you click between various levels of open applications and windows?  How much time does all that clicking take up over the course of a year?  I would bet more than you think.
  4. (Proficient) Instant Messaging – This is by far the quickest way to get a message to someone without getting involved in a long conversation filled with distractions.  A couple quick points delivered, a couple quick responses, and you move on to the next task in an instant.  Note: The services I list are public IM services and should not be used as a means to discuss proprietary corporate information.
  5. Network Printing – Believe it or not, many home users and even small businesses still have their printer confined to a specific computer.  Network printing allows any computer on the network to print to the same printer.  25 computers and 1 quality network printer, now that makes more sense.
  6. KVM Switch – Multiple computers and only one keyboard, mouse, and monitor?  No problem.  Jump from one computer to the next with a flip of a switch.
  7. Indexed Desktop Search – Don’t wait 3 minutes for Windows to search through your hard drives for a file you misplaced.  Find it in 3 seconds using one of many free desktop search tools that maintain a searchable index of your computer files.
  8. Multi-Account Password Management – If you use several different passwords for various computer based accounts (i.e. email, website, computer login, etc.), KeePass provides a very convenient and secure way to keep track of them all.
  9. External Hard Drive with Incremental Back-Up – No matter how much internal redundancy you have on your primary hard drives, an external back-up drive can still save you hours of if gut wrenching fear in the event of a serious computer system hardware failure.
  10. Free Anti-Virus and Spyware Protection – A computer infected with viruses and spyware is not a productive tool.  Keep your computer running smooth with free virus and spyware scanning.
  11. Web-based Email – Do you remember when you could only access your email from a single desktop based email client hosting the proper email server credentials?  If you weren’t at your computer, you weren’t checking your email.  Thank goodness those days are long gone.
  12. RSS Feed Readers – Read the latest articles from all your favorite online content sources from one convenient interface.  RSS readers allow you to scan through articles just about as fast as you can scan through your email inbox.
  13. Automated Tasks – If you find yourself repeating the same small computing tasks over and over, why not increase your productivity by eliminating the redundancy?
  14. Auto-sort Incoming Email – Set your email priorities on autopilot by eliminating needless distractions.  Set up email filters to automatically separate important emails from emails that can wait until later (or spam).
  15. Browser-based Add-ons – You already use a web browser.  Why not make it more efficient for free?  Most browser-based add-ons will increase your productivity by saving you time.

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

20 Things that Belong On Everyone’s TO-DON’T List


post written by: Marc Chernoff

20 Things that Deserve to Be On Everyone’s TO-DON’T List
Your greatest fear should not be of failure,
but of succeeding in life at all the wrong things.
This morning as Angel and I were driving to meet a coaching client, another driver a few cars in front of us tossed a large disposable cup out the window.  Suddenly, a motorcycle directly in front of us pulled over near the litter as we passed.  When traffic stopped at the next red light, the motorcycle driver pulled up to the driver that littered and handed him his trash back.
The motorcycle driver then shouted, “Being too lazy to put trash in a trash can… put that on your TO-DON’T list!”  And then we all drove off.
Wow!
Besides the fact that this motorcycle driver is my new hero, he also reminded me to check and update my own TO-DON’T list.  Angel and I have discussed the TO-DON’T list concept on our blog before, and most recently we focused on it in the Productivity chapter of our book.  As you may have guessed, a TO-DON’T list’ is a list of things NOT to do.  It might seem a bit amusing, but it’s an incredibly useful tool for keeping track of unproductive habits and thought patterns.
The bottom line:  If you get decent value from making TO-DO lists, you’ll also get significant returns – in productivity, in improved relationships, in emotional stability, and in heightened levels of happiness – from adding certain things to a TO-DON’T list.
And since I just updated my TO-DON’T list, which is in essence a universally applicable list, I figured I’d share it with you today…
  1. Don’t be lazy. – The world doesn’t owe you anything; you owe the world something.  So stop daydreaming and start DOING.  Develop a backbone, not a wishbone.  Replace laziness with determination.  Laziness is being unable to find the time you have.  Determination is being able to find the time you don’t have.
  2. Don’t cower from life’s necessary challenges. – We work hard to discard the parts of our lives that were painful, difficult, or sad.  But just as we can’t rip chapters out of a book and expect the story to still make sense, we cannot rip past chapters out of our lives and expect our lives to still make sense.  Keep every chapter of your life intact, and keep on turning the pages one at a time.  Sooner or later you’ll get to a page that brings it all together, and you’ll suddenly understand why every page and chapter before it was needed.
  3. Don’t just take the default path. – Be a voice, not an echo.  Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes.  Find the courage to bring your ideas and dreams to life.  Don’t compare your progress with that of others.  We all need our own time to travel our own distance.  It’s perfectly OK to be different.
  4. Don’t wait for the perfect time. – There’s never really a right time for anything in life.  There’s always going to be something in the way, someone coming to visit, someone leaving soon, the time of the year, the weather, the money, your mother, your brother, etc.  Whatever it is, there will always be something or someone whispering, “Now is not the right time.”  Do it anyway.  Don’t wait for the perfect time; it doesn’t exist.
  5. Don’t put on a mask. – You can’t let people scare you.  You can’t go your whole life trying to please everyone else.  You can’t go through life worried about what everyone else is going to think.  Whether it’s your hair, your clothes, what you have to say, how you feel, what you believe, or what you have…  You can’t let the judgment of others stop you from being YOU.  Because if you do, you’re no longer YOU.  You’re just someone everyone else wants you to be.  (Read The Road Less Traveled.)
  6. Don’t hide your humanness. – Sometimes you have to deal with issues and show others your awkward, uncomfortable side.  It’s perfectly okay – it’s a natural part of being human.  And the good news is that these tough moments will often show you who will accept you at your worst and who won’t.
  7. Don’t make everything seem like a chore. – Life is a privilege; act like it.  Instead of feeling like you “have to” do so much, incredible shifts in energy levels, happiness, and effectiveness can happen when we focus on the fact that we ”get to” do all of these things in our lives.
  8. Don’t try to conquer everything in a single leap. – Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different?  Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.  So just take one tiny step today.  You won’t regret it.
  9. Don’t focus on past problems. – Never let the ghosts you knew in the past overcrowd the possibilities of the present or have you over-complicating everything in the future.  In life, the test often comes first, before the lesson.  Take a deep breath and think… Your past was never a mistake if you learned from it.
  10. Don’t think about what could have been. – Chances are if it should have been, it wouldn’t have been.  So say it out loud:  “There was another life that I might have had, but I am having this one.”
  11. Don’t let stupid little things get to you. – Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how blessed you are.  Just do your very best.  Appreciate each step, and forget the rest.  And remember that good things take time.  Stay patient and stay positive.  Everything is going to come together, maybe not immediately, but eventually.
  12. Don’t try to hold on to everything. – Life changes.  Everything is not meant to stay.  Remember, giving up and moving on are two very different things.  When things aren’t adding up in your life, it’s time to start subtracting.  
  13. Don’t neglect your present joys. – If you don’t appreciate what you have now, someday you will find yourself close to the end, and thinking, “Why didn’t I learn to treat everything like it was the last time?”  In other words, your greatest regret will be how much you focused on the future, at the expense of every present moment of your life.  So don’t hesitate too long.  Don’t love too late.  Don’t expect too much.  Don’t appreciate too little.
  14. Don’t just take. – If you have a lot, give your wealth.  If you have a little, give your heart.  Just give what you can.  No one has ever become poor by giving.
  15. Don’t wait for someone else to do something about it. – Realize that our lives begin to end the moment we silence and restrain ourselves from addressing the issues that matter.  So speak up.  Don’t hide your thoughts and feelings, especially when you can make a difference.  Say what needs to be said.  Do what needs to be done.  You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and twice as capable as you have ever imagined.
  16. Don’t always try to be right. – There are many roads to what’s right.  So be selective in your battles.  Oftentimes peace and compromise feels far better than being right.
  17. Don’t judge before you know. – We tend to judge others by their looks and behavior, and ourselves by our intentions and ideals.  Do your best to judge less and love more.
  18. Don’t hold on to hate. – If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it, or never hate them.  Everything and everyone that you hate is engraved in your heart and mind.  If you want to let go of something, if you want to free yourself, you cannot hate.  You must forgive.
  19. Don’t place irrational conditions on your love. – Unconditional acceptance is something we want, but rarely ever give out. When someone else’s happiness is your happiness, that’s true love.  Period.  When you do something out of true love, you don’t count the cost.  (Read The Mastery of Love.)
  20. Don’t neglect your close friendships. – I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, even when it’s inconvenient.  Stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you.  Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted.  Close friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together.  Incredibly powerful stuff!

Your turn…

What would you add to this list?  What’s one thing YOU need to put on your TO-DON’T list today?  Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights with us.

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Sunday 16 February 2014

15 Things You Must Give Up to Be Happy Again

post written by: Marc Chernoff

15 Things You Must Give Up to Be Happy Again
Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak; sometimes it simply means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go.
TODAY is the first day of the rest of your life.  The road ahead is wide open.  You CAN be happy again!But first, you have to give up…
  1. Choosing to do nothing. – You don’t get to choose how you are going to die, or when.  You can only decide how you are going to live, right now.  Every day is a new chance to choose.  Choose to change your perspective.  Choose to flip the switch in your mind from negative to positive.  Choose to turn on the light and stop fretting about with insecurity and doubt.  Choose to do work that you are proud of.  Choose to see the best in others, and to show your best to others.  Choose to truly LIVE your life, right now.
  2. The excuses you keep reciting to yourself. – Sooner or later you will come to realize that it’s not what you lose along the way that counts; it’s what you do with what you still have.  When you let go, forgive, and move on, you in no way change the past, you change the future.  (Read The Power of Now.)
  3. Avoiding the reality of the present. – You can’t change what you refuse to confront.  You can’t find peace by avoiding it.  Deal with problems before they deal with your happiness.  Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart.  Remember, life’s best lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.  When you lose something, don’t think of it as a loss; accept it as a gift that will get you on the path you were meant to travel all along.  Thank your past for all the lessons, and move on.  Say it: “Dear past, thank you for the lessons and wisdom.  Dear future, I’m ready for you!”
  4. Over-thinking and worrying about everything. – When your fears have you looking too deep into things, it creates problems, it doesn’t fix them.  If you think and you think and you think, you will think yourself right out of happiness a thousand times over, and never once into it.  Worrying doesn’t take away tomorrow’s troubles, it takes away today’s peace and potential.  Stop over-thinking everything.  Life is too short.
  5. Who you once were in the past. – Find the balance that allows you to be who you truly are.  Your worst battle is between what you know and what you feel.  One of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make is when to stay put and try harder or when to just take your memories and move on.  Sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been, and remember the person you were meant to be, the person you are capable of being, and the person you truly are.
  6. Resistance to necessary growing pains. – Remember, we can’t become what we need to be by remaining exactly what we are.  Life is change, but growth is optional.  Choose wisely.  When we lose ourselves in the things we love, we find ourselves there too.  So if you are passionate about something, pursue it.  Stretch yourself.  You will know you’re on the right track in life when you become completely uninterested in looking back, and eager to take the next step.
  7. Doubting your own faith and courage. – You can be comfortable or courageous, but you cannot be both.  By taking a leap of faith, you find out who you are truly capable of becoming.  Faith sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible; it’s about believing when it’s beyond the power of reason to believe.  And courage is being scared to death, and then taking the next step anyway.  May you always find the faith and courage to do what you are afraid to do.
  8. Thinking you don’t have what it takes. – Nobody is going to blindside you and hit you as hard as life will.  Sometimes life will beat you to the ground, and keep you there if you let it.  But it’s not about how hard life can hit you; it’s about how hard you can be hit while continuing to move forward.  That’s what true strength is.  And that’s what winning the game of life is all about.
  9. Overlooking everything that’s wonderful. – Do your best and surrender the rest.  When you stay stuck in regret of the life you think you should have had, you end up missing the beauty of what you do have.  You will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for the good things in your life right now.
  10. Pessimism and negative self-talk. – Talking about our problems is our greatest addiction.  Break this negative habit.  Talk about your joys, your loves, and your dreams instead.  What you see in life often depends entirely on what you’re looking for.  In the end, it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.  It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it.  It’s not what you see, it’s how you look at it.  It’s not how your life is, it’s how you live it.
  11. Excessive pride. – Get out of your own way.  Stop judging everyone and everything.  Pride is one of the greatest enemies to your happiness and growth.  Open your mind before you open your mouth.  Don’t hate what you don’t know.  The mind is like a parachute; it doesn’t work when it’s closed.  Or as C.S. Lewis so profoundly put it, “A proud person is always looking down on things and other people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something beautiful that is above you.”
  12. Not giving the people around you a chance. – Life is a tapestry of people weaving in and out of your life, people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  Everyone has something to offer and share with you.  Imagine treating every person you encounter, no matter how fleeting, as an intriguing story waiting to be told. But the story can only be told if someone asks to hear it.  Will you ask?  That person you see standing before you, no matter who they are, young or old, rich or poor, angry or kind, is like a blockbuster movie ready to enthrall you. But, first you have to buy a ticket.
  13. Comparing yourself to everyone else. – Sometimes the reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel.  Give it up.  Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 15.  Follow your own path, write your own life story, and never give up on yourself.  Remember this:  Happiness formula = Do YOUR best and feel good about it. | Unhappiness formula = Compare yourself to everyone else.  (Read The Happiness Trap.)
  14. Letting the judgments of others control your life. – People know your name, not your story.  They’ve heard what you’ve done, but not what you’ve been through.  So take their opinions of you with a grain of salt.  In the end, it’s not what others think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts.  Sometimes you have to do exactly what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.
  15. Procrastinating and senselessly wasting time. – Remember, you are the customer of a bank called Time.  Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds.  Every night it writes off, as a loss, whatever remainder you have failed to invest to good purpose.  It carries over no balance.  It allows no overdraft.  Each day it opens a new account for you with the same deposit of 86,400 seconds.  Each night it burns the remains of the day.  If you fail to use the day’s deposits, the loss is yours.  There is no going back.  There is no drawing against the tomorrow.  You must live in the present on today’s deposits only.  Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success.  You’re making withdrawals right this second; make them count.
Your turn…
As you know, when you stop doing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to start.  So what’s one habit or thought pattern that has been making you unhappy?  What can you do today to give it up?  Leave a comment below and let us know.
Photo by: Zach Klein


START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Thursday 13 February 2014

6 Ways to Speak Well to Your Loved Ones


post written by: Marc Chernoff

6 Ways to Speak Well to Your Loved Ones
Every heart sings a song, incomplete,
until another heart whispers back.
―Plato
At a time in history when we are communicating more rapidly than ever – via texts, tweets and email volleys, one after the next – it seems there is hardly anyone among us who couldn’t use some tips to facilitate more heartfelt communication for our in-person interactions with the people we care about most.
Here are some ideas to get you started:

1.  Tell them how important they are, often.

Here’s a wake-up call for you:  No matter how sure you are of someone’s love, it’s always nice to be reminded of it.
Loving someone and having them love you back is the most precious phenomenon in the world, and it should be expressed as such.  When you truly love someone, be loving in words and deeds every single day.  Don’t beat around the bush.  Be straightforward.
If you appreciate someone today, tell them.  If you adore someone today, show them.  Hearts are often confused and broken by thoughtful words left unspoken and loving deeds left undone.  There might not be a tomorrow.  Today is the day to express your love and admiration.

2.  Communicate your feelings openly.

Your parents may have told you that it’s not what you say but how you say it that counts.  This can be true in a professional setting, but when it comes to your closest relationships open, honest transparency is imperative.
Express how you truly feel.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Give the important people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.  Express your fears, tears, doubts and insecurities – let your loved ones experience YOU.  Have the courage to be yourself in front of them.
Relationships flourish when both people are able to share their innermost feelings and thoughts about themselves and each other.  To be fully seen by someone, in raw form, and be adored anyhow, is what love is.

3.  Speak the truth.

As a wise man once said, “I tell the truth because it’s the easiest thing to remember.”  Living through a facade puts an incredible burden on your emotional well-being.  Speaking the truth, even and most often when it hurts, frees mental space and increases your ability to connect with the people you care about.  Keep in mind that a large part of such openness requires taking personal responsibility for your wrong doings.  If you know, for instance, that your actions or words have hurt a loved one, you must immediately admit your faults and face reality.
If you live for the truth now, you will find comfort and peace in the end.  If you live for comfort and peace now by avoiding the truth, you will get neither comfort nor peace nor truth, only wishful thinking to begin, and lasting regret in the end.

4.  Ask thoughtful questions and listen intently.

Too often we underestimate the power of a thoughtful question and a listening ear that’s fully present and focused.  Although it’s a simple act, it may very well be the most powerful act of caring – one which has the potential to turn a life around.
And once you inquire, be sure you listen to understand, not to reply and hear yourself talk.  Oftentimes a reply isn’t even necessary.  Listening is a sincere attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another that both attracts and heals, perhaps without ever saying a word.  (Read The Mastery of Love.)

5.  Let your actions speak for themselves.

Actions often speak much louder than words.  When you love someone you have to act accordingly.  They will be able to tell how you feel about them simply by the way you treat them over the long-term.
You can say sorry a thousand times, or say “I love you” as much as you want, but if you’re not going to prove that the things you say are true, they aren’t.  If you can’t show it, your words are not sincere.
And remember, it’s not so much about how much you do for your loved ones as it is about the love you put into what you do for them.  Learn what matters most to them and make a habit of it.

6.  Touch.

Touch has a lasting memory.  Sometimes reaching out and taking someone’s hand is the beginning of a beautiful journey.  Sometimes a long hug speaks louder than all the words in the world.  Sometimes your lips can’t accurately articulate what you mean without using them to kiss.  And sometimes, quite frankly, a moment of touching is the difference between hopeless despair and the ability to carry on.
Physical touch can make or break a relationship and can communicate respect or ridicule.  Some of us require touch more than others, but some physical interaction – be it a hug, a handshake, a pat on the back, or otherwise – is important in your closest relationships. 

Final Thoughts

Lots of irritation and heartache can be avoided just by being more aware of what your loved ones value in communication.  I encourage you to set aside an hour to discuss this article with someone you love.  It may be eye-opening to gain more clarity about the way they like to be loved.

Your turn…

What do you say or do when you want to show someone you love them?  How do you like others to show you that they love you?  Please let us know by replying below.
Photo by: Sky Captain Two

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships

post written by: Marc Chernoff

 5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships


When I was younger I often felt inadequate and “not good enough” to be friends, lovers, or business partners with certain people.  Sometimes I simply couldn’t understand what others saw in me.  I was very insecure.
I ended many promising relationships because of my insecurity.  In my mind, it felt easier for me to end it before they did.  Walking away rather than risking the heartbreak of rejection was how I justified my behavior to myself.  But after awhile, as I grew emotionally, I began to realize that I wanted and needed the comfort and support of long-term relationships.
So what did I do, and what can you do if insecurity is damaging your relationships?
You need to understand that a good relationship is about sharing ideas and enjoyable moments with another, to help each other grow in healthy ways, both together socially and as individuals.  If someone really does treat you poorly or lies and cheats you out of something, feeling insecure is a natural and reasonable response.  However, if you’re actually in a generally good relationship with someone, then it’s time to…

1.  Stop trying to read minds.

Most relationship problems and associated social anxieties start with bad communication, which in turn leads to attempted mind reading.  Mind reading occurs when two people assume that they know what the other is thinking when they don’t.  This process of wondering and trying to guess what someone is thinking is a rapid route to feelings of insecurity and stress.
If someone says one thing, don’t assume they mean something else.  If they say nothing at all, don’t assume their silence has some hidden, negative connotation.  Likewise, don’t make the people in your life try to read your mind.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Give the people in your life the information they need, rather than expecting them to know the unknowable.
It’s also important to remember that you aren’t suppose to know every little thing going on in the minds of others, even the people closest to you.  When you stop trying to read their minds, you really begin to respect their right to privacy.  Everyone deserves the right to think private thoughts.  Constantly asking, “What are you thinking?” can provoke a person to withdraw from a relationship to find space.  (Read Getting the Love You Want.)

2.  Stop looking for perfect relationships.

You will end up spending your entire life hopelessly seeking the right lover and the right friends if you expect them to be perfect.  Even worse, the process of doing so will drive you mad, as you feel more and more insecure with every failed relationship that doesn’t live up to your fantasy of perfection.
We’re all seeking those special relationships that feel perfect for us, but if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to realize that there are no “perfect people” for you, just different flavors of imperfect ones.  That’s because we are all imperfect in some way.  You yourself are imperfect in many ways, and you seek out relationships with people who are imperfect in complementary ways.
It takes a lot of life experience to grow fully into yourself and realize your own imperfections; and it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest imperfections, your unsolvable flaws – the ones that truly define who you are – that you are able to proficiently select harmonious relationships.  Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for.  You’re looking for imperfect people who balance you out – the perfectly imperfect people for you.  

3.   Stop judging current relationships based on past ones.

Think about those times when you passed an unfair judgment on someone merely because they reminded you of someone from your past who treated you poorly.  Sadly, some people pass judgments like these throughout the entire duration of their long-term relationships.  Simply because they were once in a relationship with someone who was abusive, dishonest, or who left them, they respond defensively to everyone else who gets close to them, even though these new relationships have been nothing but kind and supportive.
If you carry old bricks from the failed relationships of your past to your present relationships, you will build the same flawed structures that fell apart before.  So if you suspect that you have been making unfair comparisons between your present relationships and a negative one from the past, take a moment and consciously reflect on the hurtful qualities of this old, negative relationship, and then think of all the ways your present relationships differ.  This small exercise will help you let go of the old bricks and remind you that past pains are not indicative of present possibilities.

4.  Stop inventing problems that don’t exist.

Inventing problems in our mind and then believing them is a clear path to self-sabotage.  Too often we amuse ourselves with anxious predictions, deceive ourselves with negative thinking, and ultimately live in a state of hallucination about worst-case scenarios.  We overlook everything but the plain, downright, simple, honest truth.
When you invent problems in your relationships, your relationships ultimately suffer.  Insecurity is often the culprit.  If you doubt yourself and you don’t realize your own worth, you will pass on any opportunity to let others care for you, and you will remain stuck with the insecurity issues that weigh you down.
The insecure passenger does not trust anyone else to drive.  They feel out of control.  They imagine that the driver is not paying attention.  Or they may even fantasize that the slight jolting of the driver stepping on the breaks is a sign of doom via an impending collision.  They freak themselves out by assuming that the visions they have invented in their mind represents reality.
What you need to realize is that there are normal idiosyncrasies to any relationship.  There are ups and downs and mood changes, moments of affection and closeness and moments of friction.  These ups and downs are normal.  Wanting to be absolutely close and intimate all the time is like wanting to be a passenger in a car that has no driver.
Next time you feel insecure, and you catch yourself stressing about problems that don’t exist, stop yourself and take a deep breath.  Then tell yourself, “This problem I’m concerned with only exists in my mind.”  Being able to distinguish between what you imagine and what is actually happening in your life is an important step towards self-confidence.  (Read The Road Less Traveled.)

5.  Stop focusing on the negatives.

There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship.  Even if it seems perfect now, it won’t always be.  Imperfection, however, is real and beautiful.  The quality of the happiness between two people grows in direct proportion to their acceptance, and in inverse proportion to their intolerance and expectations.  It’s how two people accept and deal with the imperfections of their relationship that make it ideal.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you have to accept everyone into your life who is willing to accept you, even if they are obviously not right for you.  But it does mean that if there are occasional difficulties in your relationships, you don’t have to jump to the bold conclusion that the entire relationship is bad, and become so distressed that the relationship ends, or so insecure that the other person questions your intentions.
No meaningful relationship will always work flawlessly all the time.  Being too black and white about the quality and health of a relationship spells trouble.  There will always be difficulties present, but you can still focus on the good.  Insecure people constantly look for signs of what’s not working in their relationships.  What you need to do is look for signs of what is.
Having an appreciation for how remarkable the people in your life are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places.  So notice their strong qualities, cheer for their victories, and encourage their goals and ambitions.  Challenge them to be the best they can be.  Every day, acknowledge just how amazing they are.

The floor is yours…

What relationship issues do you struggle with?  When it comes to your relationships, what makes you feel insecure?  Please leave us a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Martin Gommel

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

9 Good Signs You’re in the Right Relationship

post written by: Marc Chernoff

9 Good Signs You’re in the Right Relationship
It’s not always where you are in life,
but who you have by your side that matters.
“How do I know if I’m in the right relationship or not?”
This is one of the most common questions our coaching clients ask us.  And after Angel and I listen to the specifics of their situation, we often toss a question back at them to further clarify their thoughts and expectations.  For instance:
“What do you think a “right relationship” should provide for the people in it?”
Although the answer here is obviously subjective, in all relationships, romantic and platonic alike, there are some clear signs that things are going well.  So today, let’s take a look at some signs you’re in the “right relationship,” and corresponding tips that could potentially help you make a “wrong relationship” right:

1.  No games are being played.

Far too often, we make our relationships harder than they have to be.  The difficulties started when… conversations became texting, feelings became subliminal, sex became a game, the word “love” fell out of context, trust faded as honesty waned, insecurities became a way of living, jealously became a habit, being hurt started to feel natural, and running away from it all became our solution.  Stop running!  Face these issues, fix the problems, communicate, appreciate, forgive and LOVE the people in your life who deserve it.
And of course, if you feel like someone is playing games with you, speak up.

2.  Everyone is on the same page.

If a woman starts out all casual with a man and she doesn’t tell him that she wants a committed relationship, it will likely never become a committed relationship.  If you give someone the impression that casual, or whatever, is okay with you, that’s what will be assumed going forward.  The bottom line is that you have to be straight from the start, or at least as soon as you know what you want.  Don’t beat around the bush.  If someone gets scared and runs away because you were honest and set boundaries, that person wasn’t right for you anyway.

3.  The line of communication is open, honest, and clear.

You can’t be afraid to have certain conversations.  It’s better to talk and find out the truth, than to keep going and get nowhere.  Say what you mean and mean what you say.  Don’t expect the important people in your life to read your mind, and don’t play foolish games with their heads and hearts.  Don’t tell half-truths and expect them to trust you when the full truth comes out – half-truths are no better than lies.
Listen without defending and speak without offending.  Communication isn’t just an important part of a relationship, it is the relationship.  Relationships often fail because of trust issues, commitment issues, and above all, communication issues.  So be honest, commit, and COMMUNICATE always.

4.  Loving deeds consistently reinforce loving words.

Nurture your important relationships so that when you tell the people you love that you love them, it’s merely a ritualistic validation of what you have already shown them by how you treat them on a daily basis.  Do little things every day to show your loved ones you care.  Knowing that the person you’re thinking of has you on their mind too means a lot.
Truth be told, you can say “sorry” a thousand times, or say “I love you” as much as you want, but if you’re not going to prove that the things you say are true, they aren’t.  If you can’t show it, your words are not sincere.  It’s as simple as that.  And there’s no such thing as a “right” relationship that isn’t sincere at both ends.

5.  Expectations of perfection are strictly forbidden.

Any relationship that’s real will not be perfect, but if you’re willing to work at it and open up, it could be everything you’ve ever dreamed of.
Your best friends and your soul mate may be far from perfect, but they are a perfect fit for you.  Give them a chance to show you.  When you stop expecting the people you love to be a certain way, you can start to enjoy and appreciate them for who they are.  What you need to remember is that every relationship has its problems, but what makes it perfect in the end is when you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, even when times are tough.

6.  Honesty, vulnerability, and presence are held sacred.

Although it may sound risky, the strongest type of love is the love that makes you the most vulnerable.  It’s about daring to reveal yourself honestly, and daring to be open and fully disclosed over the long-term.  It’s about sticking by each other’s side through thick and thin, and truly being there in the flesh and spirit when you’re needed most.
So open yourself up.  BE with the person you love.  Allow yourself to experience them authentically.  Tear down any emotional brick walls you have built around yourself and feel every exquisite emotion, both good and bad.  This is real life.  This is how you welcome a sincere connection with another human being.  (Read Daring Greatly.)

7.  There is a healthy blend of freedom and teamwork.

Keep in mind that we can’t force anyone to be with us or love us.  We shouldn’t beg someone to stay when they want to leave.  And likewise, we should never feel trapped in a relationship.  In fact, if either person feels trapped, the relationship doesn’t really exist.  Because that’s what relationships are all about: freedom.
Relationships are also built on a solid foundation of teamwork.  And since relationships are one of the greatest vehicles of personal growth and happiness, the most important trip you will ever take in life is meeting someone else halfway.  You will achieve far more by working with them, rather than working alone or against them.  It really is a full circle.  The strength of a relationship depends on the strength of its two members, and the strength of each member in the long run depends on the quality of the relationship.
And remember, relationships are rarely 50/50 at any given instant in time.  You can’t always feel 100%, or a full 50% of a relationship’s whole – life is simply too unpredictable for that.  So on the days when you can only give 20%, the other person must give 80%, and vice versa.  It’s never been about balancing steady in the middle; healthy relationships are about two people who are willing to make adjustments for each other in real time as needed, and give more when the other person can’t help but give a little less.

8.  Personal growth is embraced, celebrated, and shared.

It’s not about finding someone to lose yourself in, it’s about meeting someone to find yourself in.  When you connect with someone special, a best friend or a lifelong partner, this person helps you find the best in yourself.  In this way, neither of you actually meet the best in each other; you both grow into your best selves by spending time together and nurturing each other’s growth.
When you honestly think about what you and your closest confidants add to each other’s lives, you will often find that instead of giving or taking things from each other (advice, answers, material gifts, etc.), you have chosen rather to share in each other’s joy and pain, and experience life together through good times and bad.  No matter what, you two are there for one another, growing and learning as one.  (Read The Mastery of Love.)

9.  Outsiders aren’t calling the shots.

Relationships don’t always make sense, especially from the outside.  So don’t let outsiders run your relationships for you.  If you’re having a relationship issue with someone, work it out with THEM and no one else.
You have to live your own life your own way; that’s all there is to it.  Each of us has a unique fire in our heart for certain people.  It’s your duty, and yours alone, to decide if a relationship is right for you.  You’ve got to stop caring so much about what everyone else wants for you, and start actually living and deciding for yourself.

The floor is yours…

In your experience, what are some good signs you’re in the right relationship?  Any other relationship tips you’d like to share?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Photo by: Snaps

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Monday 10 February 2014

While you're still working a full-time job, here is a list of things you can do on the side

While you're still working a full-time job, here is a list of things you can do on the side to explore an idea for a great new business:
1. Research your idea. Figure out the market, talk to prospective customers about what they would like, see who your competitors are, and so forth.
2. Undertake legal incorporation and trademark protection.
3. Claim a web URL, build a website (or have it built) and get company email accounts.
4. Get a bank account and credit card (most likely you'll have to use personal credit at first).
5. If appropriate, initiate a Facebook page, a blog and a Twitter account.
6. Develop branding.
7. Talk it up to your network. Try to find interested parties as co-founders, staff, investors and advisers.
8. If necessary, build financial projections and draft a business plan.
9. Engage in personal financial planning, including cutting back on expenses and budgeting for startup costs.
10. Create a mock prototype and presentation for potential investors or customers.
If all of this sounds like a lot of work, you’re right. Getting this done while holding down a job is a significant commitment. Yet, you’re just getting started. There’s a big jump in difficulty when it comes to the next things.
1. Raise money. In my experience, fledgling entrepreneurs focus way too much on the money -- you can get most things done and figure out a lot without spending much. That said, most businesses require money to launch and get off the ground. Finding initial funds is the primary barrier most entrepreneurs face, as many people don’t have three or six months’ worth of savings to free themselves up to do months of unpaid legwork.

2. Develop the product. Product development is a significant endeavor. Even if you’re hiring someone to build your product, managing them to specifications is a huge task in itself. You can expect vendors to take twice as long and cost twice as much as you planned. This phase might require raising additional money as well.
3. Build a team. Most people don’t build a business alone and finding quality partners or employees can be time consuming and unpredictable. Your first employee is going to look to you for guidance and her productivity is going to depend on your ability to manage. With partners, you’ll need to make sure you can work well with them, since they’re going to be with you from the ground up and for years afterward.
4. Get customers. Going to trade shows or trying to get your first handful of paying customers is typically a major time investment. This can involve web marketing, producing content and search engine optimization -- all of which take significant energy and resources to generate a return.

By Andrew Yang

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below:

Before Launching a Venture, Sample the Waters

You Can Test an Idea Without Spending Tons of Money

 

Robert Babboni
While in Thailand four years ago, Joe Demin rested on a locally made hammock that was so comfortable he immediately sensed a business opportunity. Though he'd never started a company, he felt certain he could make a living selling the ultrasoft hanging beds to consumers back in the U.S. over the Web.
But Mr. Demin's girlfriend, Rachel Connors, wasn't as convinced and urged him to test the idea before quitting his senior job at a large consulting firm. "I thought he might be riding the nostalgia of vacation," she says.
Mr. Demin obliged and purchased just a few hammocks to take home. He and Ms. Connors then began trying to sell them on weekends at craft fairs and festivals.
The six-month experiment was eye-opening. For example, the couple was surprised to learn that while most hammock shoppers consider comfort an important part of their purchase decision, they also want to know if it's easy to set up. Shoppers also said they care a lot about durability, since the hanging beds are often placed outdoors.
Based on that insight, Mr. Demin and Ms. Connors adjusted their sales strategy before investing in an e-commerce site. Later they made additional tweaks upon tracking their online sales before turning their trial into a full-time venture in 2011.
Today, the duo operates Yellow Leaf Hammocks, a profitable e-commerce venture in San Francisco.
Have a brilliant idea for a business? Even if you're confident that it's a winner, consider taking steps to validate it before diving in too deep. You may find that your assumptions aren't quite on the mark, and the intelligence you gather could help you avoid costly mistakes.
"First you fall in love with your concept, but then you have to get over that and fall in love with your customer," says Caroline Daniels, a lecturer on entrepreneurship at Babson College in Wellesley, Mass. "You have to observe what your customers are doing and then build your product around that."
There are simple ways to test a business idea—without spending a lot. Hunter Walk, a former YouTube executive turned venture capitalist, says a good start can be to approach people standing next to you in line at a public place, like a supermarket or coffee shop. Ask if they have a need for your product or service, whether they'd pay for it and how much.
"If you're not willing to go up to a stranger," he says, "you may not be up for the challenge of starting a business from scratch."
Keep in mind that you may need to refine your pitch before you see results. "You're practicing how to describe your idea so other people understand it," Mr. Walk says.
Another technique is to approach prospective customers by email. A large volume of positive replies could help show potential investors that your idea is worth funding.
Craig Baldwin, with partners Ryan Watson and Ryan Baker, did this in 2011 before starting Sqrl, a Cincinnati provider of communication software for professional-services firms. Having worked in accounting for years, they felt that traditional ways of exchanging information and following up with clients were too cumbersome. They had a better solution, but before spending thousands of dollars to have it built, they sent emails to target customers seeking feedback.
To identify them, the budding entrepreneurs looked up an accounting-industry magazine's list of the top 100 firms, which listed email addresses for many of the partners. They also found a list of prospects, including email addresses, on an accounting-software firm's website.
About 50 people responded warmly, and a few even offered to contribute money toward the trio's development costs, Mr. Baldwin says.
Next, they put up a single-page website with a short, low-cost video describing their product and the problem it would solve. Visitors were invited to enter their email addresses so they could be notified when the software goes on sale. Mr. Baldwin says he and his partners collected about 200 addresses this way over six months. Using the responses to pitch investors, they raised $550,000 and hired a developer to build the product, now in beta.
"It really comes down to pounding the pavement and validating your idea with potential customers," says Mr. Baldwin. "It's still something we do each and every day."
— Sarah E. Needleman 

START EARNING MONEY TODAY. Click on the banner below: